Hi guys, I really want to update tonight but I want to address some things first before I do. I want to tell you a little about myself.
Well first of all I'm a 13 year old suicidal mess. I've been better but there's four things that keep me strong.
I want to tell you a guys a story about a girl, her name is Morgan, she was 9 years old when her depression started setting in.
Her parents divorced when she was 4 her mother lost custody of her when she was 9 years old...
Morgan moved with her father and started a whole new life. She started softball, basketball, and volleyball.
She wasn't sitting at home anymore missing 30-40 days of school.
She enjoyed her life, but she realized she was missing two huge parts of it.
Constantly being with her mother and someone to look up to.
When she was 11 she started self harm, as crazy as it sounds she was depressed as hell.
Soon she tried over dosing and it took a wrong turn.
This girl is now 13 years old.. She is still depressed, still has anxiety, and a bit suicidal at sometimes.
That girl started listening to someone at 9 years old.. That someone was Demi Lovato. Demi was going through this pain.
Demi did something about it though.
And so did Morgan, she listened to Demi's music, soaked in the lyrics and released the pain.
Not by putting rusty metal to her skin but by listening to that girl that was her role model.
Demi has never faded away from her life and never will.
About a year ago this boy she heard of on YouTube, his name was Aaron Carpenter, he was on a channel called YTL, ThatYTLife.
He made her smile and have her a reason to smile everyday, she never got to meet him but she loved him as if they were no more than a foot a part.
Then her friends came into the play, especially her closest friend... Maria.
Maria had been through depression, and till today you can see the scars on her arms.
Maria got through it for the same reason Morgan did.
Demi Lovato..
Maria never left Morgans side.
The last thing that came into play was Morgans parents, they came together as one and helped her. She's on the honor roll, she plays like 80 sports.
That girl, Morgan, yeah, she's me.
Hi guys, I'm Morgan Testa, I'm 13 years old and I'm in love with Aaron Carpenter.
I live for sports and love my best friend Maria.
Three years ago today I tried taking my life.
Two years ago tomorrow I tried taking my life again.
One year ago on March 12th, 2013 I tried taking my life.
One thing stopped me, one thing.
My inspiration, my sunshine: Demi Lovato.
She taught me to stay strong 365 days a year. I am 368 days clean and I am proud!
I am proud to say that when I saw my idol I broke down in tears and was shaking uncontrollably because no matter how far I was from her I knew she was there for me.
I knew she loved me no matter what size I was.
No I'm going to have to admit, I'm not a size zero, I'm like at size 9, but you know I'm proud.
Last night (3.9.14) in Demi's speech before her song Warrior she had sent out a message. No matter how vulgar it had sound I didn't care.
"I just wanna thank you so much, this is my second night in Connecticut. I hope my show was amazing, you guys are amazing! I'm really excited to be here to see all of you..
The thing of it is though, if anybody in the audience didn't know the relationship I have with my fans better than any other relationship.
When you guys come to my concert I want you guys to have a place to escape for an hour, hour and a half, I want you guys to be clear on knowing again, whatever is going on in your personal life... I love you too... I want you to know whatever is going on in your personal life,doesn't exist for the next, however many songs. Cause right now we are here together and that's all that matters.
A lot of you out there struggled with the same things I struggled with. And um, a common problem that I keep seeing is people, young even some are even out here tonight, self harming um, with eating disorders wether they're being bullied or having a hard time at home they're releasing their pain. And um, in ways that is so dangerous and toxic to them, like substance abuse.
I just want anyone to know out there that's struggling that if anyone can make it through it's my fans out there tonight.
Excuse my language for the kiddies out there right now. If you have a youngin' put some ear muffs on them.. *laughter from the crowd* I'm serious, cause my Lovatics are some strong ass mother fuckers."
It may seem very vulgar, but to me, it might as well be my senior quote.
Yes guys, I've been writing a fanfic about my younger self.
Do I seem very mature?
I may, well because I've been through this.
The reason it made this chapter is because I want you to all know you're worth it.
It doesn't matter if you're 100 pounds or 300 pounds, you're beautiful. Every single girl to walk on this earth is beautiful, and boys you're so handsome and don't let others even touch you.
You can stand so tall and if someone touches you, DO NOT, let them push you down.
Head up, chin out.
I love you, you're all my loves okay. I love you all so much.
I promise you can get through this. Please talk to me if you ever need it.
I promise I'm always right by my phone.
I love you all.
Don't ever, EVER, forget that.
«Morgan»
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Loving Him Was Red. (Hayes Grier Fan-Fiction)
FanfictionMorgan isn't your average 13 year old girl. Well she is but she doesn't have a clique. Why? All 8th grade girls have some kind of 'clique' right? Well Morgan, let's see, she is home schooled. She's been home schooled for forever. But High School is...
