It's Complicated (Troyler)

Sex Talks and Hummus

*Troye's POV*

I ran back to the table and climbed over Steele as quickly as possible to where I'd left my phone.

"Who're you calling?"

"Mom."

"Put her on speaker, I have to tell her about that shop we seen." I wasn't sure what shop we meant but I did anyway. 

"Troye! How is everything?"

"Good, actually I was just calling to ask if I could go to Tyler's for a couple weeks." I said, knowing her answer before she said it. I watched Tyler lumber over to the table and sit down, but not before flashing me a cheeky smile.

"Of course!" She continued to babble on about plane safety, but I was more interested in the fact Steele had struck up a conversation with Tyler.

"Can I ask you something?"

"You name it."

"How exactly were you comforting Troye in there," He paused, leaning in closer to the phone, "Because I'm not sure, but there isn't many methods of comforting that end in Troye's pants being unbuckled."

"WHAT?" Mom roared, I dropped the phone onto the table to avoid her screeching and buckled my pants back up. Once I could no longer hear her from a safe distance I picked it back up.

"It's not what it sounds like. I used the wash room and forgot to buckle my pants, it's nothing sexual. Anyway, can I go to his house?"

"Let me get this straight, did he ask you over before or after you two got naughty in the bathroom stall?" 

"Sage! Get off the phone!" I yelled, earning a couple glares from other people eating in the restaurant. Tyler was snickering quietly to himself like he enjoyed watching me get embarrassed and flustered.

"He's right, Sage, that was completely inappropriate. Though, I'm just going to remind you, safe sex is good sex."

"Mom! Please don't give me the sex talk right now."

"Troye, I'm not saying I believe your brother but if Tyler is known for being promiscuous it's better to be safe than sorry."

"We are just friends."

"Right now, but you're already smitten with him and it's only a matter of time before he feels the same, that is, assuming he doesn't have a serious brain condition. He'd have to have something wrong with him to not wuv you." I groaned, slapping a hand to my forehead. Tyler was in a fit of his usual cackle-like laughter now and I assumed Mom just realized she was on speaker because I could hear her sharp intake of breath.

"Oh, hi Tyler!"

"Hey Mama Mullet." He giggled, still not being able to get control of himself. 

"Mom, I just need a yes or no answer."

"Oh yeah, definitely Troye, I don't know why you even called to ask. You've got the money on your card right?" If I could have avoided calling believe me, I would have. 

"Yes, I just needed your permission the rest is sorted out. Bye Mom."

"Love you Troye! Have fun in LA with Tyler! But not too much fun, if you know what I mean."

"Literally bye." I groan, hanging up on her before she got another chance to slip the words 'safe sex' into our conversation. I sigh and look to my left at Tyler, who's still giggling like a crazy person.

"Shut-up."

"Safe sex is good sex, Troye. Always remember that chunk of advice." Tyler giggles.