It's Complicated (Troyler)

Skinny Love

*Troye's POV*

Before I was even fully awake an elated hum escaped my lips. A moment later I realized the cause of it. I could tell by the familiar light breathing and rise and fall of my pillow, I was cuddled up to someone. I wasn't cuddled up to just anyone though, I recognized his intoxicating scent without even opening my eyes. Tyler.

I sat up gently, not wanting to wake my sleepy friend. My eyelids fluttered open slowly then, the harsh light hurting my eyes. It didn't look like the bright early morning light I was used to seeing though, and I knew I should check the time to see just how late I was for my events that day. That was, until I caught sight of the brilliant man beside me. His hair was messy, but in the adorable way that was just there to prove he wasn't a completely perfect being. The corners of his lips were turned up slightly into a smile and I couldn't help but wonder if it was from a nice dream or our close proximity. Lastly, and probably the deciding factor in not getting out of bed, was the way the blankets had fallen just below his waist, leaving his bare chest in the open for me to gape at. I'm tempted to reach over and shake him awake, but I'm also nervous about what will happen when he does wake up. He didn't want me to sleep here last night, but I wouldn't take no for an answer and threw myself into the bed next to him regardless. I sighed aloud, noticing the way Tyler stirred ever so slightly at the sound before settling back into the same position. 

It's not like he didn't have feelings for me, because if that was the case there's no way he would have spent all night out looking for me and gone through such a hard time without me. I blink, suddenly remembering exactly why I'd shown up at his door to begin with. I had to talk to him about that, about what he'd done when we weren't together. Because, from what I'd heard, it hadn't exactly been productive. I frown and look down at his peaceful face, hating myself more with each passing second knowing I'd hurt him without even realizing it.

*Flashback*

"What do you want from me?" I choked out, genuinely interested to know if there was anything I could do to make it up to them. They looked around amongst themselves before one in particular sighed loudly and took a step forward.

"We just want you to be yourself, Troye." My heart convulsed, remembering a time not so long ago when I'd said those exact same words to Tyler. What a hypocrite I was, giving advice that even I couldn't follow. I scanned their faces one last time before feeling a familiar stinging against my eyes. I was such a fuck-up, letting everyone I loved down in this way. I couldn't even bear to look back up at them one more time before taking off across the room, toward the VIP lounge. At least there I wouldn't be breaking down in front of hundreds of people that looked up to me.

I rushed into the door and scouted out the quietest corner of the room. It was dimly lighted compared to the rest of the room, with nothing other than a small table with two chairs adorning it. I sat down and my whole body began to rock with silent sobs. I felt so stupid. I mean, it's not like I'd really expected a better ending between Wyatt and I, but it still didn't help my pain knowing that. But even worse was the fact Wyatt wasn't even the most pressing issue on my mind. As always, it was still occupied with thoughts of the lavender-haired boy named Tyler Oakley. There were so man questions running through my mind, but they all circled back to one in particular. Why had he looked so broken when I kissed Wyatt? Surely people that have no feelings for you don't have a problem with you 'moving on', right? God, if anything I'm more pathetic now than when I was younger and obsessed over Tyler in secret, before I was even a youtuber myself. I mean, that had been pathetic, but it wasn't something that caused me pain like this did. It was cute almost, but this situation was anything but. I groan inwardly and slump over the tables, burying my face in my hands. I blinked back tears and began to drift into a light dreamless sleep, my jet lag finally catching up with me.