is it love

chapter 34 (the pain is cutting me like thousands of stabbing knives)

(Jillian's POV)

We were all downstairs watching a comedy and during the whole movie Aspen didn't laugh once she just looked blankly at the screen then when it was over she stood up and walked out the room and we all looked at each other then fredo said

"I'll talk to her this time"

And we nodded then he left and we followed and ease dropped on the convocation"

(Fredos POV)

I walked to aspens room and sat on the bed and she looked at me then back at her plushy heart then she said

"Why did this happen to me"

And a tear came out her eye and I said

"There us a lot of sick people in this world that will try and hurt people but you gotta stay strong for us Aspen it hurts us to know that your not happy you have us worried and you have Justin stressed and scared that he'll loose you he's scared aspen he won't sleep eat or even talk to us anymore neither will you I want my aspen back where did you go"

And she looked at me and said

"I'm sorry I hurt you I'm sorry I ruined it all for everyone maybe if I didn't have my concert then they would still be alive maybe if I never existed then maybe none of this would've happened maybe you guys would be happy and not worried and depressed cause of me maybe Justin should go maybe he wants better or maybe................................maybe I should go"

And I looked at her shocked and in disbelief then I said

"Aspen what do you mean you should go"

"Nothing I just wanna sleep"

And before I could say something she looked at me with this evil look like it wasn't her her eyes were peer black they went even hazel no more then I stood up and walled out the room and everyone was standing by the door with a blank expression then chaz said

"We need to help her"

"We need Justin like pronto"

And we all ran downstairs and went into the kitchen and Amanda was making something then Ryan said

"Amanda aspen is acting weird like she's not herself like she's there but not"

And Amanda rushed upstairs and we all walked into the room and aspen wasn't on the bed no more then we herd sniffling then we walked into the bathroom and when we opened the door

And she was holding a blade at her rust and I ran and pushed it out her hand and she fell to the floor crying and I bent down and pulled her in a hug and she cried out and said

"It hurts so much I wanna go please let me go"

Then Amanda bent down and hugged her and we all sat down and hugged her and she just cried and so did we then I picked her up and we took her downstairs and sat her on the couch and she put her head in my laps and I rubbed her hair

And we sat around her and Amanda went and made her something to eat and Jillian said

"Hey asp how you feeling"

"Like shit"

"Well at least its something"

And she rubbed her cheek then the door opened and scooter Justin zac and Cody came in the room panting like they were running then scooter sat down in front of aspen and rubbed her cheek and said

"We herd what happened is she alright has she seen her doctor"

"Ya but she was in a trans she wouldn't speak when we were around but when we went she would talk to him and he told us she's in a total shock she won't eat sleep and he said if she is sleeping then she is crying herself to sleep she's gone scooter the other night when that happens it took her spirit away she needs time to heal"

Then a tear came out scooters eye and so did everyone else and Justin sat down next to her and she looked at him and was about to say something but she just looked the other way and I said

"I need to talk to you alone"

And he looked at me and we walked to the backyard

"What wrong"

Justin said and I took a deep breath and said

"Did you hear what happened"

"No"

"She tried to kill herself she's gone that girl that's in there that's not aspen"

And he had tears coming out his eyes and I said

"Let me tell you what her doctor said he said this she's fully traumatized and she's lost on the inside she doesn't feel complete she said that she feels like your not with her on the same terms she needs you more then ever right now justin she needs us what she saw that was sick she saw all her fans dying she doesn't deserve that she needs you she needs us we need to help her or goodbye aspen she almost killed herself that's how much she hates herself and wants to die she needs you think about it"

And I walked back inside the house and into the living room and sat back down with asoen