From the Streets |• Clexa AU

Consequences

Empty. That's how Clarke felt the past few weeks. Without Lexa's presence, she had found herself looking for something she had lost, only to remember what she had lost would be nowhere near her home. She walked around with less confidence, less meaning as if a vital part of her had somehow died. Her handshake became weak, her appearance sloppy and her lustrous smile faltered to the point where it became a rare occasion. Clarke was drained. Clarke was tired. Clarke was empty.

People started noticing too, Jasper frowned every so often when he and Clarke had their morning coffee in the break room. Monty noticed how her sleeves were rolled unevenly and how her collar was folded awkwardly, once Harper caught Clarke wearing her watch backwards, nevertheless letting her excuse herself for running late. It got to the point where work became resentful for Clarke, a dreary place where the walls trapped her inside and slaved her to work. The cold walls kept her from being happy, she could feel them laugh at her sorrow as she zipped from task to task, completing the days challenges with a crestfallen heart.

Clarke's anger towards Lexa had yet to simmer, the immense betrayal felt like a heavy weight on her feet. It was torture every time she saw walked past Lexa's now unused room, or opened the kitchen cabinet to find her favorite mug. Simple reminders such as coffee packets dropped Clarke's mood into a spiraling depression before a pent up aggression took over. She felt foolish for letting everything happen so quickly. Lexa and her had only been good friends when she asked her to move in, she had fooled herself into thinking that Demetria wasn't the only reason for Lexa allowing herself to get close.

A rush was all they had, a brief moment of paradise, a taste of euphoria; but that was before Lexa cut them off, Clarke couldn't help the disappointment that followed. She had thought Lexa to be stronger than what she shown to be, distancing herself when her work seemed to be suffocating her.

"Clarke?" Raven knocked at Clarke's door but Clarke only buried herself deeper into her blankets, as if they would shut the world out. "Clarke, it's time to wake up." Raven tried again, her voice softer this time.

Lexa's disappearance after their argument had driven the remaining household members to silence, less visitors came and a gloom seemed to trail after Clarke, no matter how hard she smiled. Raven tried her best to balance the tasks between work, meals, taking care of Demetria and looking after Clarke, but there was no doubt that she had begun to struggle.

"Demetria's starting school today." Raven said, holding her breath as she waited for a response. Clarke could practically hear the anticipation and hope, but the mention of her daughters name had given her motivation to start the day. The sound of Clarke starting the shower was enough confirmation for Raven.

***

"You excited?" Clarke asked as the school came into view from their car. Demetria looked out the car window, the dread penetrating her emotionless mask she wore. Clarke wore a smile for Demetria, she would at least try. The teen was too caught up in her environment to question Clarke's latest mood, and instead analyzed the students that were walking up to the school.

"Clarke will you always drive me to school?" Demetria asks, ducking as a student looked in their cars direction.

"If I can't Raven will." Clarke said heavily, another reminder that of Lexa's absence. Clarke then noticed a black car trailing them, not too close were it was noticeable but close enough to see that they were being followed. Just as Clarke was about to take a turn, the car swerved away; Clarke shook her head, a coincidence perhaps.

"Can I walk to school?"

"What? No, it's a thirty minute walk."

"Then can I run?"