The Immortal Diaries

The Neko-mancer's self-portrait

So hey guys! I haven't made an introduction  like everyone else, so here I'am making one.

Here it starts!

I'm the Neko-mancer or the one they call Neko. I'm the one who tries to make things better for other people yet I'm the one who can't fix myself.

But in any ways it's fine as long as I see everyone fine, if I could just help everyone in the world. Help them escape from their worn-out past, lead them on the right direction, move them from the hellish place and soothe them through words or music. I knew that I can't, I'm a  man with no power, wealth and guts to do that.

March 12th year of 2014

A day where I was in the school, seeing people busy of what they are doing, sitting beside our adviser talking with her making her laugh for she said that she's stressed. I begun to imitate some teachers on going on our discussions that made her laugh, talked about parts of our lives. Teacher Sheila and me is close as we talked and join her eating lunch on the whole school year.

Our discussions ended because she needs to talk with someone else and talk with other people. I went closer to my classmates who are playing with their laptop together with Storm and Rain, the title of the game was Ib.

We've been trying to get the good ending of the game. But all I can think of if is Cloud is okay. Worrying too much on what will happen to her.

March 13th year of 2014

Cloud went to school as she told me so, but will she be okay here?

We did our usual routine in our school for our school year will end, self-contain.

Play pixelated games. We talked much, and we're happy that we saw each other. I held her and I saw the burnt spot on her right hand. She told me that I shouldn't be mad and she will be okay.

But for some reason, I'am. I just hid it deep in my heart, I couldn't do anything that time because I'm away from her. I'm useless...

Cloud told me that she can't go school but she wanted to just to see me. I understand her situation and I just said "I understand. You don't need to." but she insisted that she wanted to see me. It took me a moment to think and a minute to decide.

Should I allow her?

I shouldn't?

She will be hurt either way.

Because of that thing that I wasn't thinking properly, I allwed her. She was happy and cheerful.

March 14th year of 2014

I don't know if I should feel excited or scared. I confronted everyone like everything is okay, smiled and laughed. I didn't failed faking myself but rather feel bad for them.

My hands get usually cold when I get too nervous or sad. But, it didn't. I went closer to Cloud and held her hand, people around us didn't notice it though because were hiding it.

My face, as usual, the neutral fake smile. I just don't want Cloud to see me sad in any circumstances. Just don't forget to smile.

Me, myself can't understand my true identity. Counfused and I don't have my decisive rights. I'm overcoming my true self.

The one they knew as the jolly, happy, noisy and comedic side is actually the serious, unexplainable, and self-abducting human being.

I don't want to be serious... For I don't know on what I look like and what will happen to me. The past does repeat but not for our individual self.

I don't have any problem, I'm already the problem.

The glorious portrait of my self-individual.

Self-titled : The Unrealistic

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Banana!

~The Neko-mancer 2014

Sorry if it's too short. Gomen ne.