Thirty Pages

Contemplating Suicide

Feb. 28, 2014

Entry 24

Dear 30 Day Diary,

            It’s terrible, I can’t take it anymore. Why were we born in this hell if we were only destined to die? There’s a rope beside me, a knife in my right hand and sleeping pills in the left. All I need to do is pick between these three and all of my problems would be over in one short second. No more liars, no more mistreatment, no more pressure, no more nothing. I’ve had enough. I feel like no one is ever there for me. No one will ever understand me.  

I’m home alone and no one will ever stop me if I do it, no one will ever hear me. I’d just be doing the world a favor if I die now. No one would ever care about my death. Why would they? I’m a nobody. I’m alone. Tears start to pour on my face as I slowly cut myself, blood oozing out of somewhere where it’s not supposed to.

I’ve just finished my first bottle of sleeping pills, any moment now…

Now, I’ve just tied the end of the rope to my ceiling fan. I’ve put the other head around my head as I stood on the chair, a foot off already.

            Dear Family, you might not know what’s going on in my life right now, so you also don’t know why I did this, but you’re part of the reason… you never ever ask me how my day was. You barely have time for me, only for your friends. You spoil my sister as if I never existed in the first place, or as if I’m some stranger in this house with you.

            Dear Friends, you are mostly the reason for this suicide. You’re always fucking bullying me. What the hell did I ever do to you? I thought we were friends huh? What am I to you? Your object, someone who you only ever notice and act nice to when you fucking need it. I hope you realize what you’ve done because if you go on like this, karma’s going to be more than a bitch to you.   

Sincerely Yours,

Ezelle Lucienne

A/N:

I don’t encourage suicide guys! Don’t get the wrong idea. Remember, this is for a challenge. If you have a problem, talk it out with people you trust or surround yourself with the right people. Just, never contemplate suicide because you’ll be wasting a life that was given to you by God & your parents. Plus, think of others too! They’re going to miss you and cry over you, they might even blame themselves for your death. Remember, once you’ve done it, you could never go back.