☘ "Maybe sometimes being lost is the best thing that could happen to you, because then you have nothing to lose. But for just this once I don't mind losing."
Maureen is a girl who has been on streets all her life, her life has been hard enough unt...
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Hope is a strong term. If it had not been for hope I would have crossed the line of sanity a long time ago. If it had not been for hope, half the kids with us on street might have died one way or the other. If it had not been for hope depression would have engulfed half the population in the depths of despair and we could see no light through those thick clouds of darkness.
But hope was also a beautiful liar. Sometimes it is that mirage of happiness that just stares at you from a distance but as you are about to get closer it mocks at your despair and runs away a little further slipping through your grasp.
So when I was hoping that Jeremy will restrain himself from getting hit or try to finish the fight as soon as possible, I was wrong. As soon as he was in the ring his persona changed completely. He was not a superstar or even a man in there. He was an addict, addict for pain.
Violence for me is painful and yet I stood there watching him get hit as the thick red blood oozed out from his injuries, his brows creased as he calculated his next move. He was never in a hurry to finish or win, he savoured each hit that landed on him. My emotions went down from being angry to pain to flabbergasted to helpless.
But like I said, hope. I held onto that last string of hope even though it was stupid.
I had to walk out when Sam pulled me away telling me to help Jack. But I could not help anyone. Because in that moment I knew that exerting my brain and my senses took a toll on me as I crumbled down not caring where I was.
***
When I woke up I was still in the corridor leading from hotel to the fight arena. Sam might have gone since Jack needed some stitches and even though he won he was still pretty beaten up. Sam might not have noticed that I fainted somewhere in between.
The corridor was empty and as soon as I got up I rushed back to find the door for back entry to the hotel was closed. That was fine since I know another door from the back alley. I was supposed to be here to help Jeremy. And I realised that healing him will be difficult. He was living with the help of pain, I need to let him know he could live without it as well.
And for that, I needed his story so I walked back out to help him.
***
His intense gaze scared me.
Not in afraid for my life kind of way but the unwrapping of new feelings in me kind of way. With not much time to live I was not open to new feelings now.
We were back in the hospital and I was mending his injuries. Ane he silently stared at me. He was struggling with something and I wanted to know what but I kept quiet.
"I am not going to come to another fight," I told him in a calm tone.
But he just stared at me. He didn't blink when the antiseptic seeped into his wound. He didn't wince when I cleaned the wound. He just stared at me.
