i n s e c u r e

twentyone

"Will you be okay?" Shownu asked for the umpteenth time and Kihyun still gave the same answer.

But Kihyun wasnt annoyed. He felt blessed to have a concern friend like Shownu. Not many people have the privilege to befriend such a person.

"Yea..sorry for being such a pussy just now" Kihyun awkwardly scratch his nape.

"Nah its okay...anyway...you free tomorrow?"

"High chance i am"

"After school i mean"

"I have 30 minutes before Chemistry"

"Then can you give me 30 minutes of your time?"

"You mean my whole entire break? Sure" Kihyun chuckle briefly.

Shownu then smile softly as Kihyun board the bus which arrived in the nick of time.

"Text me when you get home" Shownu mouthed at him but of course, Kihyun didnt get that.

Shownu watch as the bus disappear from his sight. He let out a long sigh and stare at the shirt where Kihyun left a stain from all the crying. He look at it for a second before hugging his body tightly.

He carved a wide smile as he recalled what happen. He didnt know that hugging Kihyun actually made him feel comfortable and loved.

oh god you make me crazy

Kihyun on the other hand got back home and heard shoutings coming from inside the house. He stood outside the doorway and sigh heavily, contemplating whether to enter his house or run away.

if only i could stay longer with Shownu.

Without a doubt, being with Shownu earlier on felt a lot better than being here at home. It was only with Shownu that he could be himself.

The male entered the house and soon after, his mom called him again to the room. The same old charade is about to happen.

"Im really short of money..." Mrs Yoo mentally tore her hair.

"Where can I get money huh Kihyun?...Why is God punishing me so badly...this really is unfair" She continued her nagging.

Kihyun really was too tired to entertain her but he couldnt say anything. Heck,he was too tired to do anything.

All he did was to comfort her and tell her that everything is going to be alright, even when now, he is the one who needs a motivational hug the most.

"Didnt you say you were going to work?....You know..I wish you could be like Jamein...at least he is helping his mother by working" She fiddled with the hem of her shirt.

Kihyun paused.

As far as he knows, Jaemin works because he wanted to save money for his girlfriend. Not for his mother.

And this year is the most crucial year for Kihyun because they will be sitting for a major exam soon. He has been thinking about getting a job but juggling between work and studies is gonna be energy and time consuming.

"I'll try my best" He said softly.

"Yea right..." His mother replied, rather annoyed.

It was at this moment he wished, that he never have to go back home.

-

Shownu, on the other hand was busy rewriting his 'speech'. It was nothing much but he wanted to tell something important to Kihyun. After 5 months and 3 weeks, he knows that this feeling isnt normal.

He knows that Kihyun will probably hate him for confessing but he needed to tell the truth. Only then will he be at peace.

but what if he hates me for life?

shit

oh god please help me now

i promise to attend at least the night service

He pop his knuckles and massaged his shoulders before continuing his writing.

Up to this day, the feeling of affection for Kihyun is rather peculiar.

No one would have thought that Shownu has a 'thing' for Kihyun.

To explain, Shownu love Kihyun because of his personality. He has this positive vibe that made Shownu really feel attracted to him. Even when he is sad, its never shown on his face. He always ensures that even when he is having a bad day, he still carved a wide smile so that others wont be affected by it.

And this is what makes Shownu attracted to Kihyun.

Look wise, he doesnt care at all.

Infact, he doesnt even look at Kihyun's oversize weight.

He finds it cute instead.

if this is how love feels like,
i like being in love

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