Atem x Reader ☆ A Shadow in the Dark

Chapter 25 (FINAL)

(Y/n) POV

Paradise didn't seem like paradise to you. Maybe it was all in your head, but the clouds appeared more gray than usual. How long ago had it been, since your king was taken from you that day? You remember perfectly the way he held you that night, treating your body with such a bitter tenderness. He was afraid to let go, for in his own mind, it would be the last he ever saw of you. So he held on... until he couldn't any longer. "I understand," you had said to him. Or at least you had tried to. You could tell how much he hated himself for it, that his queen would be left alone, and by his own decisions, too. There was never a moment where you set aside your feelings to tell him, "Atem, it's okay this way." He never had that reassurance, because your fear wouldn't allow you to say it. At first you had felt somewhat betrayed, accusing him in your own mind of breaking his promise to you. The one where he swore, 'you would always be his choice.' Why did he have to leave then? Wasn't he choosing the world over you? But you had quickly realized how selfish this thinking was. Aren't you part of the world? If it were lost, wouldn't you be gone as well? He has a duty to his throne, before he has a duty to his wife. You knew this the moment you married him, though he's very forgetful. After all, didn't he tell you his happiness rested in one person? His queen. That's why he would frequently come find you, that is, sneak away from the throne when Seto wasn't around. Because, despite always being so close, you could never be farther apart. You thought this was true then, but now, it's another story. He isn't just, 'not around'. He's gone. Gone for good.

Your heart felt troubled, sharing in the pain that your king was enduring. Even if he was gone, your souls were still somehow connected. Or at least, this is what you believed. In that way, you'd been fighting along side him, though unable to comprehend everything he had experienced... everything he still is. You could swear by this. You knew you didn't feel right. Your soul was in two places at once. How could you ever be at peace? But it was more than that. It wasn't simply about missing your beloved. Normally, you could always feel a spark... a warmth. You felt the life he still breathed, and rejoiced at how his presence still clung to you. But something happened just now. That spark went away. The warmth was no longer there. He might as well be dead, because you couldn't feel him at all. You held onto yourself, reciprocating to the cold that now made a home inside of you. What was this feeling? You didn't like it. It scared you to think what might have become of Atem. He's always been a fighter. The darkness could never bring him down. But he's human too, and every human has their limits. Did your king finally reach his? No! You couldn't lose him like this! You had to communicate. Seeing you again would help remind him. He had a life, before his existence was dragged into torture. He could have a life again. He only need remember what it is he's fighting for. Seto had disobeyed when the pharaoh ordered for the destruction of the millennium puzzle. Instead, he had the object shattered, and locked away inside a box. To whoever might find it, however long it takes, there is still a chance at freedom. 

Mahad told you not to go back. Even he knew the dangers of manifesting to the other half of your soul. That spirit is weak and fragile. The darkness has eaten up most of what's left. But perhaps you could manage one more trip. This would be a goodbye to your lover. You wanted him to see you once more before you went. You wanted him to know of all that he meant to you, so that when he was lost, he would cling to those words in reassurance. You wanted him to remember who he was. You didn't need magic, nor the gods' approval. If your souls were connected, then you would definitely reach out again.

"I pray, let that be enough."

Atem's POV

Isn't it ironic, how in the darkness I find myself most hidden, but most exposed? It's not safe. Aren't I more of a target this way? I'm terrified, but everything's died down. There's a hole in my heart, a pit at the bottom of my stomach. Like the calm before the storm. I lie in wait for it to take me. My throat aches from the awful screams that I never knew were in me. It is dry, making me thirst. Will I drink my own tears to satisfy it? I've already tasted the ground. A puddle caresses my cheek, formed by my own sorrow and self pity. Go ahead and laugh, is what I want to say. I am not unaware of those watchful eyes. This is their victory, seeing me broken. I let go of these thoughts. Another tear pushes past my eyelids. I don't hold it back. My face is ugly and drenched, but I continue on with this pitiful behavior. My chest raises up forcefully as I inhale, my breath still shaking. It's difficult to calm my sobbing, but I've been in need of this. Just let it out, I tell myself, nothing's alright. I hear them cackling to themselves. I don't care anymore.