Buried Wishes ✔

Chapter 20: Choose a Penis and Live with It.

~ [Evelyn] ~

"I don't even know what to say, Evelyn," Dana spoke sympathetically as she reached over to rest her warm hand on mine. "I'm so sorry everything went down like that."

I nodded at her with sad eyes. I couldn't stop crying since yesterday and I didn't want to eat, no matter how loud my stomach growled. I had locked myself in my closet all night and ignored all of Liam's phone calls. I knew he was at my front door and I knew that if I had let him in, I would have grown weak for his touch. I couldn't do that.

"So what now? Who are you gonna choose?" she asked me as she sipped on her creamy iced coffee.

"What do you mean?"

"Uh... Mason or Liam? Duh? You're not stupid and I don't have the time, Evelyn. Choose a penis and live with it," she gestured her hand in a way that made me roll my eyes at her attitude. She's grown very comfortable with me recently, especially since she started dating Erick.

"Dana, I'm still with Mason. I'm not choosing anyone because I don't get to choose. It's Mason. He's my boyfriend and I've wronged him," I told her, to clarify.

"Well, it just seems like you're at a crossroad here, since you get to either break up with Mason or deny your feelings for Liam," she held out both hands, like both ends of a scale.

"There's no way I'm breaking up with Mason. I don't deserve to be the one to leave and I'll stand by him as long as he still wants me," I stated firmly.

"Oh... Kay..." she dragged out the syllables, unconvinced by my words. "Evelyn, I say this as a bystander, so you can go ahead and ignore what I think, but I really really think it sounds like you're doing this as your duty, instead of following your feelings. You know who you love, so why not just go to him? Why keep yourself in a puddle of misery?"

"I was content with Mason," I said quietly, trying to convince myself, "And everything was fine until Liam made everything a mess."

"Evelyn, girl... kinda sounds like it was a mess before Liam opened his mouth," she scrunched her face in discomfort as she spoke the hideous truth that made me want to wince.

"I know," I sighed before feeling a tap on my shoulder. I turned to see Mason's sad expression looking me straight in the eyes. I froze for a moment before speaking his name, "Mason...?"

Dana cleared her throat and stood up. "Listen, Evelyn, I have to go. I'll talk to you later?" She shot me an urging look and I knew what she meant for me to understand, but I was not going to break up with Mason. I don't get to decide where this relationship goes. He does.

I stood up and walked with him to a bench across the walkway, where it was more secluded and we were less likely to have random strangers hear our conversation.

He was particularly quiet today, which made me feel heavy inside. I had a knot in my throat and I wasn't sure what to do or say about it. He took a deep breath before meeting my eyes, and when he did, I saw something I hadn't seen before.

There was an undeniable sadness that drooped at the corner of his lids, where his lashes dipped a bit before curling upward. The glare of sunlight behind him made the color of his eyes darker than I'd ever seen them, and for a moment, I was almost frightened by how dark they were, like walking down a pitch black alley alone.

"Ev," he started, but then paused to think. "I want to make this work. I don't want to lose you and I know that you had or even have feelings for Liam now-"