Social Norms (Synacky)

Chapter Seven

Over the course of the next week, Brian taught Zacky, but did not speak to him otherwise. He was getting tired of the fag, and couldn’t wait until the album was finished and he didn’t have to hang around him anymore.

Okay, maybe he was just saying that.

The truth was, he was still moping over Michelle, and didn’t want to talk to anyone. He also found himself thinking a lot about being at the park with Zacky, and he wondered why the kid had tried to cheer him up. It wasn’t like Brian had been nice to him or anything.

That weekend, he went back to the park. It wasn’t like he was hoping to see, Zacky again… Well, maybe he was, but he’d never admit it. He didn’t want to consciously show up at his house or anything, he didn’t want the queer knowing he was starting to be okay with him.

The park was barren of children. Brian wasn’t too surprised by this. All of them had summer activities and busy moms who couldn’t cart them off to the park whenever they wanted. But it was not completely empty.

The boy was facing away from Brian, sitting still on the swing. His back was curled the way people’s do when they cry hard, and every now and then it would shake with sadness. Why was Zacky crying?

He approached the boy, stood in front of him. Zacky looked pitiful, tears dripping down his cheeks as he looked up at Brian. He didn’t say anything, but his shoulders slumped even further in defeat, and he closed his eyes, head bowing.

“What’s wrong?” Brian asked. Zacky didn’t reply, just sniffed and wiped his tears away as best he could.

Brian sighed, “Do you want me to push you?”

Zacky shook his head. “Leave me alone.” He whispered.

Brian frowned down at the younger boy. He could go right now, not have to deal with this, play videogames with Brent or go do something with Jimmy. He didn’t have to stay here for this faggot.

But hadn’t he been in the same situation before? Hadn’t Zacky stayed with him to try and help him?

He stood behind the guitarist, settling his hands near the base of the swing, and pushed Zacky forward. Other than his hands tightening on the chains, Zacky didn’t respond.

Brian knew there was something he needed to say to him, something tugging viciously down in the pit of his stomach. He remembered all the times he had laughed at Zacky, made fun of him, when he didn’t know the slightest bit about him. He opened his mouth to speak, but no words came out. He just focused on pushing Zacky higher as he tried to get the words out, two simple words.

“I’m sorry.” He sighed, biting his lip as he pushed him again.

“What for?” Zacky whispered, so quietly Brian could barely hear it.

Brian continued to push the boy, taking a deep breath before he said, “For being such a dick to you. You’re not that bad, at least, I think you’re not.”

Zacky dug his feet in the mulch, stopping himself and getting off the swing. He turned to Brian, and before he could react, Zacky threw his arms around him, breaking down into his chest.

Brian was shocked. He stood there, not sure what to do, as Zacky clutched his shirt and sobbed. He placed a tentative hand on the small of Zacky’s back and said, “Uh, hey, it’s okay…”

He stood there with Zacky until he’d calmed down and just shook against Brian’s frame. Nothing like this had ever happened to the older boy before. He wasn’t sure what had caused Zacky to break down like that, and he didn’t know why he had reacted that way to Brian’s apology.

Zacky pushed himself away from Brian, whispering, “I-I’m sorry, I just…”

“What happened?” Brian asked, “Why’d you do that?”

“I-It’s just tough.” Zacky replied, “Today was just a bad day. Everywhere I go people hate me. Sometimes I can’t handle it, sometimes I just wish…” he trailed off, looking down, mind going off to think about things foreign to Brian.

Brian didn’t have anything to say to him. He was one of those people. He wondered how much he had actually hurt the boy. Brian was surprised again when Zacky said, “I’m sorry about your girlfriend.”

“My girlfriend?” Brian asked. “Why are you sorry?”

“I heard about her… you know… cheating on you and stuff. That’s rough.”

“Oh. Yeah.” Brian looked down. He had forgotten about Michelle for a while. He let out a sad sigh.

“She didn’t really love you.”

“Well, yeah she did. But something must’ve gone wrong. Maybe I wasn’t there for her enough. Maybe my bed performance was bad?”

“Oh no, I can’t imagine that’s it.” Blush crept across Zacky’s cheeks as he said this, and Brian quirked an eyebrow.

“Well, I don’t understand why she’d even do that. But the point is, she did love me, but something went wrong.”

“No, Brian. Anyone who would do something like that was never in love.”

Brian frowned, “What do you know about love?”

Zacky bit his lip, his gaze shifting to the playground. “Some things, you just know. And cheating, that isn’t love. If she really had loved you, when she thought about cheating, she would’ve remembered the love that she used to have for you. Then, even if that love had diminished, she’d at least break up with you. You know?”

Brian sighed softly and looked at Zacky. “Yeah, I guess you’re right. But still, I love her. I can’t just let her go.”

Zacky smiled softly, “Yeah. It’ll come, though. How long were you both together?”

“Nearly three years.” Brian replied.

“Damn.” Zacky frowned. “I'm sorry.”

Brian shook his head. “I’ll get over it. It’ll take time I guess.”

“I could-“ Zacky began, but cut himself off abruptly, shutting up and licking over his snakebites nervously. Pink blush blossomed over his cheeks.

 “You what?” Brian asked, but Zacky shook his head. “Nothing, it’s nothing, never mind. Look, uh, I gotta go.”

“Oh, okay. I’ll see you tomorrow then. Okay?”

“Yeah.” Zacky turned to go, but paused, “And, um, thank you, by the way.”

Brian smiled softly and replied, “No, Zacky, thank you.”