Social Norms (Synacky)

Chapter Forty-One

Brian awoke the next morning feeling well-rested and wonderful. He stretched, registering the boy curled up tight against his side, and smiled softly. He had slept so well last night. Zacky should stay over more often.

He looked over at Zacky, hair a mess, one arm laid out and the other close to his chest. The blanket hardly covered him, Brian had hogged them in the night, and one leg was exposed. He was snoring softly and, although Brian would never let him know he saw, was even drooling a bit. He was the perfect picture of grace.

Brian slid out of bed, trying not to disturb his boyfriend, and covered him up as best he could without waking him up. He then made his way downstairs, rubbing sleep from his eyes. Suzy was in the kitchen, McKenna sitting on the counter before her, giving her strawberries.

“Hi.” Brian said, going straight to the coffee pot.

“Hey, Bri. McKenna and I are leaving for Haley’s baby shower. I’m going to stop by at the grocery store on our way back, can you think of anything we need?”

“More coffee.” Brian replied as placed a filter in the machine, dumping the last of the coffee into it.

“Okay, well you’re on your own for lunch. But you’re quite capable, you can make something.”

Brian nodded, filling the coffee pot with cold water. “Yeah.”

With a kiss on the cheek from his stepmother and a wave from his sister, Suzy and McKenna were gone, leaving Brian leaning against the counter listening to the coffee drip to the bottom of the pot.

Once the front door shut, Brian got to work.

He wasn’t the best cook, but he knew basics, and he cracked eggs and fried bacon. He even read the instructions on the back of the pancake mix box and poured a mug of coffee.

He got pancake batter all over the floor (flipping pancakes was tricky business) but he didn’t care. He’d clean it up later. He was just plating up the food to bring it upstairs, when a hoarse voice said, “Hey.”

Brian jumped, nearly dropping the plate, before turning and grinning at Zacky. “Oh, hi. I was uh, I was going to make you breakfast in bed.”

Zacky looked adorable, hair still tousled, eyes half open. He ran a hand over his face. “I heard your mom leave.” He said with a yawn. “So I came downstairs. I can go back up if you want…” he was obviously still half asleep. “Yeah, just… pretend this never happened.” He yawned again and stumbled out of the kitchen.

“We can eat in the kitchen if you want, I’ve already done everything.” Brian called out to him, following him into the living room.

“Um, sure.” Zacky turned around, sinking into a chair at the kitchen table. “Thank you for making breakfast, Bri, that was so sweet of you.” Brian beamed.

They ate and joked around, and the coffee helped wake Zacky up. Afterwards, Zacky even helped him clean up the kitchen, and they made their way back to the living room, curling up together on the couch.

“Did you have any nightmares last night?” Brian asked, running his hands up and down Zacky’s arms, and Zacky shook his head.

“No. Maybe it was because I stayed with you.” Zacky smiled. “I didn’t dream at all.”

Brian smiled softly, but it didn’t reach his eyes. He ran his fingers down Zacky’s cheek gently. “Tell me about your nightmares, Zacky.” He whispered, “What are your bad memories?”

He watched Zacky’s brow furrow slightly, breath hitching slightly in his throat. “N-No.” he stammered.

Brian frowned, sliding his arms around Zacky and pressing their lips together. His eyes slipped closed, and flicked his tongue over Zacky’s snakebites. Zacky pulled away from him, and Brian opened his eyes.

“Hey.” Brian murmured, lips trailing up Zacky’s cheek and over his temple. “Zacky…”

Then, Zacky did something that took Brian by surprise. He buried his face in his hands. And burst into tears.

Brian’s eyebrows shot up, and he pulled away to look at him. “Zacky?” he asked, “Are you okay?”

He obviously wasn’t okay, and Brian didn’t understand. He hadn’t pressed him to talk, hadn’t done anything out of the ordinary. And here Zacky was, sobbing.

“Hey, Zee, shhh…” Brian held Zacky tightly and rocked him back and forth. “What’s the matter? What’s wrong, baby?”

Zacky clutched Brian’s shirt, wetting the fabric as he buried his face in Brian’s shoulder, and Brian gripped Zacky’s hair in his fingers, kissing the top of his head. Zacky’s shoulders trembled under Brian’s touch, his breaths were shallow and shaky. When he managed to compose himself, he wiped his tears as best he could with the back of his hands, pulling away from Brian.

“I-I’m sorry, Brian, I’m so sorry…” Zacky whispered, and Brian cupped Zacky’s face in his hands, wiping away his tears with his thumbs.

“It’s okay, baby.” Brian pressed his lips to Zacky’s forehead.

“I just… sometimes I wish I was never fucking born.”

A red flag went up in Brian’s mind and he looked at Zacky sharply. “No, don’t you ever say that.”

“I’m sorry, I don’t mean that I just… I wish I was normal.” He sighed, “I wish I had always liked girls and played sports and never decided to be… intellectual. Then I never would have met him and I-“

“Never would have met me, either.” Brian replied, “You might have, but then we still never would have what we have now. The people that meet you, Zacky, they’re fascinated with you. You inspire them, you amaze them. Don’t you realize the effect you have on everyone?”

“You’re lying.” He sputtered indignantly, “My parents aren’t ‘inspired’ by me. I sure don’t ‘amaze’ them. And they’re my parents, they’re the ones who matter most.”

“They’ll understand soon enough, Zacky, they’ll come around. They love you. You just have to give them time-“

Zacky stood up abruptly, glaring down at Brian. “I have given them time, Brian!” Zacky shouted. “I’ve given them five years! Five fucking years! And all they do is throw everything I try to do for them back in my face! They don’t love me! They hate me! I bet if I told them he had raped me, if I told them the way I sliced my arms every night, then they still would hate me! Even if I told them how he did this to me, they still would hate me!” at this he yanked up his shirt, pointing to his scar, confusing Brian instantly. “Time isn’t what they need! They’ve already made their fucking decision!”

Then he stood there, breathing heavily, face red with anger, and Brian looked up at him, shocked. Zacky had never yelled at him like this before. “Baby…”

“Don’t ‘baby’ me, Brian!” Zacky shouted, “You don’t know what it’s like! You don’t know what I went through! What I still go through! You don’t have the right to give me advice, to tell me what my parents will or won’t do!”

“Woah, Zacky, what the hell?” Brian was starting to get angry. “I’m just trying to help you.”

“I don’t need your help okay?” Zacky cried, “I don’t need anyone’s help! Not yours, not anyone’s!”

Brian felt his eyebrows furrow. “Yes, you obviously do, Zee. Just calm down okay?”

“Don’t tell me to fucking calm down! You don’t know! You don’t know anything! Just-Just fucking leave me alone!”

Brian was taken aback. “What the actual fuck is wrong with you, Zacky?”

“You’re what’s wrong with me, Brian!” Zacky shouted.

Brian watched, open mouthed and shocked as Zacky fled from the house. Even though he knew Zacky was seething, he could hardly hear the door as Zacky closed it gently behind him.