Glee Oneshots

Diva

Mr. Schue walked into the choir room. Blaine, Rachel, Mercedes and Tina were arguing. He didn't really know what they were talking about.
"What's going on here?" He asked loudly gaining everyone's attention.
"Rachel thinks she's the biggest diva." Blaine, Mercedes and Tina said simultaneously.
"Because I am." Exclaimed Rachel.
Mr. Schue has heard this argument many times before. By now, he was used to it and really didn't know how to make it stop. He knew one thing that might work.
"So, change of plans for the beginning of this week. How about instead of the original plan, we have a... Finn drumroll please!" He said "a diva off."
"A diva off?"
"All four of you will do one group number, Then the others will vote for who is the biggest diva."

*the next day*
"Mr. Schue, we have our group number ready." Rachel said.
"Great. Everyone to the auditorium"

*in the auditorium*
Mercedes and Tina
I'm a, I'm a-a diva (hey), I'm a, I'm a-a diva
I'm a, I'm a-a diva (hey), I'm a, I'm a a diva
I'm a, I'm a a diva (hey), I'm a, I'm a a diva
All
Na-na-na, diva is a female version of a hustla, of a hustla, of a, of a hustla
Na-na-na, diva is a female version of a hustla, of a hustla, of a, of a hustla
Rachel
Stop the track, lemme state facts:
I told you, gimme a minute and I'll be right back
Fifty million round the world and they say that I couldn't get it
I done got so sick and filthy with Benjis, I can't spend it
Blaine
How you gon' be talkin? You act like I just got up in it
Been the number one diva in this game for a minute!
I know you read the paper, the one that they call a queen,
Every radio round the world know me cause that's where I be
All
I'm a-a diva (hey), I'm a, I'm a-a diva (hey)
I'm a, I'm a-a diva (hey), I'm a, I'm a-a diva
I'm a, I'm a-a diva (hey), I'm a, I'm a a diva
I'm a, I'm a a diva (hey), I'm a, I'm a a diva
Na-na-na, diva is a female version of a hustla, of a hustla, of a, of a hustla
Na-na-na, diva is a female version of a hustla, of a hustla, of a, of a hustla
TINA
When he pull up, wanna pop my hood up
Bet he better have a six-pack in the cooler
Gettin money, divas gettin' money
If you ain't gettin' money, then you ain't got nothin fo' me
MERCEDES
Tell me somethin', (tell me somethin'): Where yo boss at? (Where yo' boss at?)
Where my ladies up in here that like to talk back? (that like to talk back)
I wanna see her (I wanna see her), I'd like to meet ya (I'd like to meet her)
What you say? (NOT TO ME!), she ain't no diva (she ain't no diva!)
All
Na-na-na, diva is a female version of a hustla, of a hustla, of a, of a hustla
Na-na-na, diva is a female version of a hustla, of a hustla, of a, of a hustla
Rachel and Mercedes
Since 15 in my Stilettos, been struttin in this game,
"What's yo age? " That's the question they ask when I hit the stage
I'm a diva, best believe her, you see how she gettin paid?
She ain't callin him to grade-up, don't need him, her best man
Blaine and Tina
This is a stick-up, stick-up (I need them bags, all that money)
We're gonna stick-up, stick-up (You see them ask, "where that money? ")
All my ladies get it up, I see you, I do the same
Take it to another level, no passengers on my plane
All
This is a stick-up, stick-up (I need them bags, all that money)
Stick-up, stick-up (You see them ask, "where that money? ")
Diva is a female version of a hustla, of a hustla, of a, of a hustla
Na-na-na, diva is a female version of a hustla,

After the four we done, the rest of the glee club clapped and cheered.
"So... who the biggest diva?" Blaine anxiously asked, hoping the rest of glee club would choose him.
"We all know it's me." Rachel said.
"Don't to get to excited, Rach." Finn said. "You have like what... a twenty five percent chance of winning." He said looking over at Brittany, who was next to him, for assurance. She nodded.
"Okay," mr. Schue started, "shall we vote? Everyone one take out a piece of paper and put who you think is the biggest diva."
"Can i vote for myself?" Tina asked.
"No. If Tina votes we all vote." Rachel said.
"It needs to be a fair game." Blaine said, still hoping that everyone chose him.
*after mr. schue counts the votes*
"So who's ready to see who's the biggest diva?"
"Not me." Santana said quietly to where the people around her could hear her.
"The winner is...."
There was a long silence. Mr. Schue slightly enjoyed watching the kids on the stage become more and more anxious as the silence grew stronger.
"BLAINE!!"
"What really?"
"He only won because he has the whole gay squad behind him."
"All gays stand together!" Santana shouted from the seats in front of the stage.
"Well I am completely honored to be the biggest diva here. Guys can be divas too." He said looking towards Rachel who was raging.
"There's been a mistake. A mistake has been made. There is no way I am not the biggest diva in this glee club."
"Well everyone voted and the majority of the glee club voted for Blaine"
"Well we all know that we don't need a vote to know who the biggest diva is."
"We just voted Rachel." Quinn said.
"It doesn't matter. I am the biggest diva."
"Don't stop believing, Rachel." Finn said trying to make her calm down.
"Maybe she should stop believing." Mike said to Santana, who was sitting beside him.
"I heard that."

Seems like this is going to be a reoccurring argument in the McKinley High Glee club until Rachel Berry graduates.

Song: diva by Beyoncé
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