Vanilla Sex

Damn Murphy and his stupid laws!

Her phone was ringing. Why did she keep the land line anyway? She made a mental note to cancel the service. It was useless. She couldn't deny the call or send it straight to voice mail. Even more importantly she couldn't text a nasty note to any one. She walked into her bedroom and dumped Xavier's coat on her bed. She pulled off Brad's. shirt. Maybe she would have a bonfire in her tiny back yard and use his tee as kinder for the fire. Yeah right, with her luck she would get a fine or burn down the development.  No she would just tear the mother fucker up like she wanted to do with his heart. Ah, a heart he didn't have one. She walked into her bathroom and turned on the shower. She desperately need one. She smelled of sex, smoke and alcohol.  Why the hell did she have to end up in the asshole's nice comfy bed. It wasn't fair. Yeah, it was crazy that she almost wish it was a stranger.  

 
  She turned on the water in the shower and hope like hell it warmed up fast.  Sje really needed to invest in one of those tankless water heater.   She grabbed the fluffiest towel she could find and reached under the sink for the really good soap. The one that smelled of orange and ginger, also known as the expensive, really couldn't afford therefore only use in extreme emergencies.  Lets be honest, this was an emergency.  

She stepped into the shower and let the water slide down her body. She closed her eyes and an image of Xavier came to mind. He was sexy in his own way, maybe even hotter than Brad but it was the laughter she had glimpse in his eyes, the laugh lines on his face. It appealed to her on a different level.

As she exited the shower, her damn phone was still ringing. She wrapped a towel around her body and padded into the kitchen.  It was still ringing?  Really?  Why couldn't people take a hint.  She pulled the phone off the wall and unplugged. it was one of three people: Brad, Sury, or Kingsley.  She was going to avoid all three.  The silence was a relief, but what was even better was tossing the ancient device into the garbage can.  It was empowering.  It was time to woman up and stop being pathetic.  She walked into her bedroom and got dressed in a tee and some jeans.  She was doing something. Oh wait, she was missing her phone and her car keys. Yeah, she was lucky she hid a spare house key in the bushes.  She was sure her spare car keys were around.

Now that she thought about it, there was a new Apple phone on the market and she deserve a reward for dealing with all this crap.  A nice expensive reward. Hell, she deserved a spa day, the full works with an hour long messages. Fuck, she stared at the phone in the trash. Did she really destroyed it? Guess she couldn't see if they had an opening at the spa. Thank God, she left her debit card and the majority of her credit cards home. Now where the hell did she put those spare keys?

Three drawers later, she finally located the keys on a wall rack. Jez, why did she organize shit and forget to check there first. Didn't matter. She was getting a new phone and a massage. She deserved it. "I am woman hear me roar and all that crap", she thought.   Play the theme from Rocky. Yep she was going to download that song and I Will Survive from iTunes as soon as she got that phone. She was strong and apparently going nowhere. Fucking A, what the hell was wrong with the universe. Fucking Karma, what did she do to deserve this crap. She pound her fist on the car. She looked up and demanded, "why now?" It really wasn't fair. Why couldn't things go smoothly. Why couldn't anything go right just once.
"Honey, are you okay?" Mrs. Krause asked in a loud grating voice.

Mrs. Krause was the neighborhood watch dog. That woman knew everything. Literally everything, she probably even knew what color underwear everyone in town had on. She was nosy, loud and talkative.  Mrs.Krause walked over and patted her shoulder. "Maybe your new boyfriend will fix it for you?"
"Boyfriend?"
"Emma dear I saw you with Christian Grey."
"Christian Grey????"
"Dear I may be old but I still go to the movies.  He has Christian Grey written all over him.  I bet he even has a private helicopter too."
Emma's mouth dropped open in shock.
"Don't look so surprised. We all read the 50 Shades of Grey."

"We???"
" The ladies in my reading club. Sweetie, we talked about that book for well over a month. We also pre-order the movie tickets. Anyway, the man that had his tongue down your throat looks like a Christian Grey in the making."
Emma stared at Mrs. Krause, how was it possible that her day could get worst. Now the local gossip at the ladies book club would be about her love life.   Argh,  "Deep breathes, deep breathes" Emma silently chanted. 
"Honey are u having problems breathing .  It is only a tire.  I will call triple A for you or maybe you can call Mr. Grey up and he will buy you a new car."

"Deep breathes, Deep breathes" She silently mumbled.

Emma looked at Mrs. Krause "Can you please call triple A."
"Are you sure?  If it was me, I would want a new car."
"Don't go rolling your eyes at me young lady.  I may be old but I am not a nun."

"Mrs. Krause"

"Why just the other day Vito came to fix the sink and boy I tell you that man likes older woman."

"Oh my God"

"Sweetie God had nothing to do with what we did .  That boy has a penis..."

"Mrs. Krause STOP."  Emma screamed.
"But"
"Please I am begging you to stop."
"You young people are so uptight.  Fine, I will call triple A for you."