Vanilla Sex

If it Moos

The machine was beeping and someone was weeping.  The room was semi-dark and it was a little hard to see.

"There, there Kingsley."

"She didn't deserve this." Kingsley moaned.
"All she wanted was to try something kinky." Kingsley wept.

This was a nightmare Emma comforted herself.  Yeah, it had to be because Kingsley blabbing about her desires was a scary thing.

"It's not fair." He moaned some more.

"Jesus man up. This is not a k-drama." Xavier exclaimed.

"Hey don't talk to Kingsley that way. Can't you see how sensitive he is?" Sury yelled.

"She's not dying" Xavier exclaimed. 

"He feels responsible," Sury said

"It's all my fault. I'm bad, so bad.  Why did I have to tell her to get her groove on? Why? Why, oh why?" Kingsley said in between his weeping.

"Why didn't you stop me? You always stop me. Why didn't you stop me?" clearly he felt that Sury was partly responsible for her being here.

"Please, when you make up your mind to do something nobody can stop you," Sury said.

Xavier sigh "Dude it is not your fault."

"You're right, it is your fault. Just who the hell are you?" Kingsley demanded in a high falsetto voice. 

Emma was having trouble following the conversation, she was pretty sure Kingsley was pointing his finger at Xavier but her eyes refused to open.  She heard some more rumbling which was probably the three of them communicating when all of a sudden she heard "Hot damn, you're the man who's going to get her grove!"

"What?"  Emma screeched.
Beep, beep, beeeeeeep, beeeeeeeeeeeeeep, beeeeeeeeeeeeeeep, beeeeeeeeep, beeeeep.

"Oh no, she's dying?" Kingsley started shouting.
"Youho  Dr. save my friend"
"Please God, don't take her. She's too young. She didn't even get what she wanted, you can't take her." Kingsley whaled.

"Oh my god, stop being so overdramatic. Jez, she's not dying look at her chest." Sury shouted.

Great Emma though now everyone was looking at her damn boobs.

Just then one of the Doctors walked in and did something to the machines because they stopped beeping. The sound of silence lasted only for a few seconds.

"Hello, there! I like your thing."
Why did the word thing sound alarming? The next thought was that the Doctor must be hot to cause that tone of voice. Sury sounded like a damn cat in heat. This was further confirmed when Kingsley said, "Ooooh Doctor"

Emma once again tried to open her eyes. They refused to work. It was frustrating. She really needed to see what was going on. Hell, if the Doctor was hot she wanted in. 

"Doctor is my friend going to live? Those machines were going like bonkers." Kingsley said in a very sweet tone of voice. The type of voice that oozed southern fake charm.  Yep, the Doctor was good looking.

"Yes, yes it seems the plug got disconnected ." A new an unrecognizable voice said. 

Sury sighed "I am so sorry my friend gets so excited sometimes he just doesn't pay attention to his surroundings."

"Me, why you looking at me Bitch? That's right blame the gay black guy. He's too stupid to stand up for himself." Kingsley snapped.

" I never said you were stupid but you were the one waving your hands all over the place." Sury snapped back.

"Like you ain't done no hand waving."
"What was it that you said? Oh, don't worry she will be fine" Kingsley added in an extremely high falsetto than added "HAND WAVE."

"Really, you want to go there Mr. Overdramatizes Everything."  Sury snapped back.

"Don't you be taking that tone with me, just because you are on your period you don't need to be nasty."

"This has nothing to do with my period!" Sury shouted. 

"Oh please, girlfriend you're bitchier than normal," Kingsley said as though that was all the evidence he needed. 

"Argh"

"See, you ain't right up here."  Emma was pretty sure Kingsley was pointing to his head. 

"Oh my God, you did not just make that crazy sign. I am not CRAZY." Sury screamed.

"If it moos like a cow it's a cow," Kingsley explained.

"You're so stupid. Why does Emma like you? It is illogical.  A kindergartener would be smarter than you."

"Hey get your finger off my nice sexy chest. My chest is reserve for the finer things in life and you're not one of them." 

Emma could have sworn that someone was choking, it was either the Doctor or Xavier.

"OH GOD, I NEED HAND SANITIZER."  Someone screeched, probably Sury. 

"Oh please bitch, put your damn claws away," Kingsley moaned.

"Uhm" 

"Shut up," both Kingsley and Sury said at the same time.  

"Excuse me, I need security in here."  The unknown voice that was most likely the Doctor said, as he slammed the phone receiver down.

Blessed silence followed for about 20 seconds then all hell broke loose.

"Who you calling security on?" Kingsley shouted.

"It's probably your dumb ass," Sury replied.

"OW, let go of my hair.  Dammit, that hurts." Sury yelled.

"Take that back bitch. I am so tired of your superior attitude.  You are so mean.  No wonder why you don't get laid.  Who would want to get into bed with a viper like you."

"For your information beds are overrated.  I prefer the countertops, walls, tables and mother nature."  Sury screamed.

Too much information Emma though.  Open sesame dammit, her stupid eyes still would not open.  This sucked big time. 

"Whack"

"Ouch bitch, why are you hitting me."

"Let go of my hair"

"Say you're sorry" that was Kingsley.

"You say you're sorry.  You started this."

"I didn't start this you did."

"Please, who going to believe that."

The sound of the door opening apparently got everyone's attention.

"Can you please escort these two out of here," the Doctor said.

"Hey, you can't do that.  We're family." Kingsley said.

"Yeah, we're family," Sury added.

"I don't care who you are.  Ms. Emma needs her sleep and clearly, that is not going to happen if you two remain in this room.  Furthermore, she's scheduled to have surgery tomorrow. So you two really need to leave now so she can rest peacefully."

"We can be peaceful."

Someone chuckled and then said "You two are the opposite of peacefulness. "  

There was a scuffle.  "I don't want to leaveeeeeeee"  the voice was getting lower and lower as if that person was being dragged out.

The Doctor sighed and then followed the group out of the room.  The closing of the door blocked out the rest of the noise and brought home how much more quiet the room was without Sury and Kingsley.   It was amazing how her mind went blank.  Whatever drugs they were giving her had started to kick in.