Vanilla Sex

Ice cream and Pickles

The mall seemed to pass by in a blur. Xavier was pretty much dragging her along. There was no way she could keep up with him. He must have some six sense, but he stopped and swatted down on the floor.
"Come on climb onto my back." He said.

He turned around and looked at her earnestly, "that crowd will be arriving soon, and you can't keep up. Plus it no good for you to be running in this condition."

Condition, oh yeah the mall idiots, wait he thought she was with child. Argh.
"I'm not pregnant."
"I'm really not pregnant. Trust me." Okay, so she did sound unbelievable. It wasn't her fault she was out of breathe. It wasn't her fault Antonie was an idiot. It wasn't her fault that her shirt was stained and torn. It wasn't her fault that the mob of anger shoppers were chasing them.
Just then she heard the sound of running feet and a voice that sounded an awful lot like Antonie shout "THAT'S THEM."

Jez, you would think they robbed a damn bank not purchased a cell phone.

"Hurry, we don't have much time before they arrive."

Emma started to climb onto his back, but then she hard a rustling sound and some more shouting. She turned around and spotted Antonie with an Apple bag in one hand and a square plastic thingy in the other.

"Hello" Xavier muttered trying to gain her attention, but Emma was already off him and running towards the mob of angry mall patrons. She ran up to Antonie and grabbed the bag from him. Damn him but he held on real tight to the clear plastic bag with the cell phone nestled inside. She deserve the damn phone. Her shirt was ripped, and her life was falling apart. She deserve a little bit of Apple oops happiness in her life right? The crowd thought she had run to them for safety and started clapping Antonie on the back. She pulled on the clear plastic bag with that lovely Apple logo harder but he still refused to release the phone. So she stepped (okay, that's a lie she really stomped) on his foot forcibly and then shouted "I hope you step on a lego." She yanked the bag from his surprised hand and took off for Xavier. She leaped onto his back with everything she had.
"Go" She shouted.

Xavier stood up and started to take a step or two, but then he halted. "Did you get my credit card?"

Oh shit, that must have been the black plastic thing Antonie was waving around.
"Is it black with no limit what so ever?"
"Yes"
"Really that card was a no limit card? They really make cards like that? What the hell are you thinking? Why would you bring a credit card like that to the mall?" She said jumping off his back.

"Hey, where are you going?" Xavier shouted.
"To get your card."
"I'll just report it lost."
"It has no limit."
"So...." Emma did not hear the rest of that sentence. Xavier was now about 8 or 9 shops behind her. Antonie, however, was less than 2 stores away from her. He was waiving the credit card like a fan and jumping up and down on one leg. She skidded to a halt in front of him and snatched the card out of his hand. He had a painful why expression on his face.
Emma hissed and then exclaimed "if I wanted to tell my boyfriend I was pregnant, I did not need you to do it for me. Us pregnant people are hormonal! I hope you have a ton of nieces and nephews who love to play with Legos. In fact I hope you you step on them."
With that Emma turned back around only to find out that Xavier had followed her.
"Pregnant?" He asked.
"Hormonal?" He questioned.
"Sweetie, did I forget to tell you that we are having twins. We can name them Jane and Logan. I know how set you are on naming your kid Clark Kent, but honestly, I am not naming my daughter Lois Lane."
"Clark Kent?"
"Although Lane has potential." She rambled on.
Xavier looked confused.
Emma patted him on the check. "I know this is all new but you have to stop worrying. The babies will love you, and don't worry about the shirt. It was getting too tight. I think there a maternity shop somewhere in this mall."
Emma looked behind her at the mob, most of them were pointing to the right. Aha, that must be the way to the maternity shop.
"Thank you for your concern, but I am fine," Emma said as she hustled them in the general direction of the maternity ward.
"I think I want some pickles and ice cream after we get a new shirt," Emma exclaimed loudly.
Xavier was still on the potential names for his unexisting children, "Lois Lane.."
"Pickles?"
"Ice cream?"
"Maternity clothes?"
Her chances of actually making it to a movie and dinner had gone down considerably.
"Pickles and ice cream?" He questioned again with a look that could be interpreted as horror or fascination.

"Oh my God, you're one of those people that would go investigate a noise and manage to get yourself killed." Emma sighted

Xavier has stopped walking. "Excuse me?"

"You know the idiots that die in every horror picture because they don't know enough to stay hidden."

"Idiot"
"Why is it that men only pick up on the negative. I am giving you some solid advice: call the cops don't go investigating loud noises."

"Why does this feel like a nightmare?"

Emma sighed. She wanted to slap him on the back and say welcome to my world. It would probably be better to put Xavier out of his misery.

"Here's your credit card. You really should take better care of it."
When Xavier failed to take the card from her hand, she put it in his pocket located on the front of his dress shirt. Yes, Xavier was clearly above wearing a t-shirt and shorts to the mall.
"Look don't worry about dinner, or a movie, or giving the kids a bath." Emma said hugging the phone to her chest. She was keeping the damn phone. It was the only bright spot and a dark crazy day. Xavier could afford it and he had ripped her shirt. So it was an even exchange right? Okay, so she was lying to herself, but fuck it the phone was going home with her.