love notes // joshler a.u.

10

  Tyler was growing guiltier and guiltier by the day. He was liking Josh more and more; he knew he couldn't just keep lying about the letters. It wasn't right. But the thought of revealing his identity gave him the worst case of nerves he'd ever had. What if Josh thought it was weird, and stopped hanging out with him? What if he never wanted to see him again? His only friend in the whole school would be gone, and then what would he do?

    Dear Josh,

  I'm sorry for lying to you for so long. I really, really like you, and I can't keep doing this. You'll probably hate me once you find out who I am, but it's worth it. You deserve the truth. Just remember: You're one of the best friends I've ever had, and I'm gonna hate losing you. You're possibly the greatest person I've ever met, and I hope you remember that, even if you don't like the author anymore. Meet me out in the courtyard at lunch.

  Reasons: Just to recap. Your smile is beautiful, you're kind, you're talented, you're gorgeous, you're modest, you're innocent, you're forgiving, you're strong, you're brave, and you're selfless. You're such an amazing person, and I hope you never let anyone make you think otherwise. No matter what happens, just remember I'll always think this way about you.

  Love,

    Your Soon-to-be-Not-Secret Admirer (For Real This Time)

  Tyler's hand was shaking the entire time he wrote the letter. It made his handwriting slightly less legible, but he couldn't bring himself to care. He wasn't ready to say goodbye to his Joshy. He never would be, he realized. Why did his luck always have to be so bad? Sure, he could be considered a troublemaker. He talked back to teachers, got tattoos and piercings without permission, and in general didn't give a shit what other people thought. But did he really deserve to have every hope he's ever had taken away because of it?

  Tyler looked around to make sure Mr. Jackson wasn't watching as he rose from his seat. Mr. Jackson pretty much never watched the classroom anyway, but he still didn't want to be caught. If anyone but Josh ended up reading the letter, well... he didn't know what he would do. He had poured so much emotion into it, if he was being honest, he would probably cry. Those emotions were meant for Josh, and Josh only.

  Enough of the sappiness, he snapped at himself as he slipped out of the classroom. There was still ten minutes left until the other kids were let inside, so he had plenty of time. Already, his stomach was churning with anxiety, and he hadn't even placed the note yet.

  Locker 267. The locker he'd been visiting every morning for the past two weeks. It seemed so long ago that he'd first began writing the notes. It was hard to imagine that not even a month ago, he had only admired Josh from afar, and now he was about to confess his love to him in the courtyard. It was in that moment that he decided he was a creepy neckbeard.

  The thought broke his tension, for a moment at least. He chuckled softly as he slid the note into one of the slits in the locker, leaving only a fraction hanging out, as usual. It was funny how quickly this had become a routine for him. It would be hard breaking himself of it, he was sure.

  The tall brunette sighed to himself as he turned, walking back down the hall to the classroom. Five minutes to go. Why was he so nervous about this? He never got nervous. He was supposed to be confident, intimidating, emotionless, but now he was anxious, scared, and weak. How had Josh done all this to him in as little as a couple weeks? His walls must not have been as strong as he first thought.

  The bell rang, signaling the influx of students and outflux of Tyler's held breath. He would really miss his Joshy.

/ / /

i just realized this book is really shitty and is full of plot holes lmao

this is why you should complete your books and reread them like five times before publishing, children 

i go back to school in exactly one month

rip

thanks for the votes and comments everyone ^.^ keep em coming fam