love notes // joshler a.u.

12

  Josh didn't know what to believe. Had it really been Tyler the whole time? He had considered it, but he never thought it was actually truly possible...

  "I'm sorry," Tyler said. "I know you probably don't want to see me or talk to me ever again, but please, just listen. I w-  I have to explain myself."

  The small boy nodded, still numb from shock. His words weren't entirely registering yet; if they were, he would've protested his sentence about not wanting to see him again.

  "I-I really like you, which is pretty obvious from the letters. I always did, I just never knew how to express it before a couple weeks ago. I-I got braver as I wrote, and I decided to talk to you. You were even better than I had imagined.  You weren't just some happy thought or hopeful daydream anymore, you were real, alive. And that was dreamlike to me.

  But then I realized I didn't just think you were great- I-I had a crush on you. I liked you... romantically. And-And I couldn't keep lying to you after I realized that. You deserve honesty; you always did! I don't know why I didn't just tell you when we started talking... I guess I just didn't want to lose you. I still don't. But I know I have to be honest now, so... this is it. I'm being honest now.

  I like you a lot more than I've ever liked anyone else, Joshua Dun, and I would really like to be your boyfriend, but I know you'll never want to talk to me again, and that's okay. Well, it's not really okay- at least, I won't really be, if I'm being one hundred percent honest right now, which is what I'm aiming for- but I understand. I won't hold it against you. I could never hold anything against you. I just needed you to know this before we had to say goodbye."

  Tyler ended his speech with a deep sigh. A raw sense of emotion filled his eyes, leaving him looking more vulnerable than Josh had ever seen. This was him. Not the punk rock boy that everyone else saw, or the unruly teenager the teachers saw. It was the caring, protective, sensitive boy that Josh saw; and only Josh. The small brunette felt special, like he never had before in his life.

  "I... W-Who said we're saying goodbye?" his voice came out weaker than intended, but his words were exactly what he meant them to be.

  A moment passed, then two. And in the next, Josh was being pulled into Tyler's chest and held there tightly, as if he was the only thing keeping him there on the ground. As if his very existence would be meaningless, as if he'd drift off into oblivion, if he let go of that doe-eyed boy.

  "You-You don't hate me..?"

  "Of course not, Ty. I-I could never hate you." A pink hue dusted Josh's cheeks as he spoke, desperately trying not to enjoy the feeling of Tyler's chest too much. He had never felt this loved before, even when his mother tucked him in at night as a child. It didn't seem special like this was. It was more a gesture done in passing, driven by instinct and routine rather than exposed emotion and rose-tinted significance.

  "Does that mean..." The muscular boy hesitated a moment. "You.. wanna be my boyfriend?" The tail-end of his sentence rose in hopeful pitch.

  A soft giggle bubbled past Josh's lips, and he nodded blissfully. "I'd l-love to be your boyfriend, Ty."

  Tyler felt like he might explode with happiness at the smaller boy's words. He was used to bottling up his emotions, but this was not the way he had expected them to burst out. "You're my aboslute-" he cut himself off to lift Josh into the air, eliciting a surprised and joyful squeak from the brunette- "favorite person." He punctuated his sentence by spinning him around, just like in the movies. He never thought he was deserving of a movie scene-esque moment in his life, but here it was, happening right before his eyes; he couldn't be happier.

  Josh wrapped his arms around his boyfriend's (God, that felt really nice to say) neck, a wide grin splitting his face and his eyes scrunching up at the ends. He would bet money on it being the widest, happiest smile of his life.

  The short boy couldn't resist giving a little huff and pout of disappointment as his feet brushed the ground yet again, bringing him from his blissful state back to reality.

  "You're adorable," Tyler stated, placing a peck on his forehead. The fact he could do that now without it being weird excited him to no end. He couldn't believe his luck; nothing like this had ever happened to him before. Some people in the world never got to experience this feeling at all, and here he was at only 17, feeling the current ripple through his entire, 6'4 body.

  I think I'm the luckiest guy in the world right now.

/ / /

YOU GUYS I'M SO SORRY THIS CHAPTER SUCKS AND I'M LATE AF

I HAVE LIKE THE WORST WRITER'S BLOCK AND IDK WHAT TO WRITE AND IT'S NOT PLEASANT

anyway finally here is the chapter that's a week fucking late and cures the cliffhanger so sorry once again but enjoy

i'm desperate for votes, comments and ideas so all of those are v v welcome lmao

holy shit i just read this chapter for proofreading and editing purposes and it's so cheesy i hate this so much lmaooo