As We Lost the Light

II.

"Hello?" Sydney groaned through the phone, her voice coated with sleep.

"I'm not going," I spat, anxiety coursing through my veins.

"Going where? What time- it's three in the morning, Sadie, jeez."

"To see Vic," I replied. I was pacing back and forth, my feet padding across the carpeted floors.

"Okay."

"Okay? That's all you're going to say? Okay?"

"Well, yeah," she responded. "If you don't want to go, then don't go. I support your decision."

"But-" I stammered.

"Fine," she said with a sigh, exasperated. "Let's talk this through. What changed? Why don't you want to go?"

I collapsed onto the couch in a heap, rubbing at my face. "It's just - I'm nervous. He's, it's Vic. And, yeah, it's been three years, but - you remember."

"I do," she mumbled.

"I'm over it, I am. It was a long time ago and a lot has happened since then. But I'm scared of how it's going to make me feel, being there, seeing the guys. Seeing him."

"Then don't go," she said after a brief moment of silence.

"That's a dick move." I paused. "I told him I'd be there. I can't just not show up."

"Why not?" She questioned through a yawn. "San Diego is a big place; maybe it'll be another three years before you run into him again."

I leaned further back into the couch, sinking into the cushions, my heart beating wildly within my chest. I was so torn; on one hand, I wanted to see Vic, I wanted to reconnect. He was a huge part of my life; he was the man I thought I would marry. But it didn't work out like that. Instead, we parted ways, years of memories forever tainted.

"I don't know what to do, Syd," I whispered, exhaustion setting in.

"Think of it this way, Sadie. Will you regret it more if you do go? Or if you don't?"

&&

The Uber jerked to a stop in front of the venue. I looked up, gazing at the marquee that read Pierce the Veil- Sold Out. Memories came flooding back in waves. I had spent so many evenings at this place, standing side stage, watching Vic pour his heart out, watching the crowds multiply in size over the years.

"Um.." I snapped out of my haze, giving an apologetic smile to the girl in the driver's seat. I slid a tip her way before stepping out of the car, my boots making a soft thud against the gravel. I shivered, despite the midsummer heat, and I stood frozen in place, wrestling with my thoughts. With a final deep breath I merged into the crowd, disappearing into a sea of fans. As I waited in line at will call I caught myself smiling at a group of young girls, chattering excitedly near the entrance, and it warmed my heart, seeing first hand the effect that this band still had on their fans, even after all this time.

"Excuse me, are you Sadie Thomas?" I felt a tapping on my shoulder and I spun around, coming face to face with a teenage girl who was smiling brilliantly. The mention of my name caught the attention of a few other fans who were patiently waiting, and they began to gather.

My breath hitched in my throat. "Um, no, sorry, you have the wrong person." I pivoted back around, taking another step closer to the window, my hands shaking at my sides. The fact that they still recognized me after all of these years was baffling. I wasn't ready for all the attention; I was never used to it in the first place. It made me uncomfortable. I wanted to remain anonymous, just another face in the crowd, but I could hear the whispers behind me, along with the unmistakable sound of an iPhone camera going off. I took a final step forward, approaching the window, and I slid the attendant my ID, crossing my arms over my chest, impatiently waiting for her to check my name against the list she had in front of her. She passed me back my license, along with an all access pass, motioning me toward the entrance.

I slipped the lanyard around my neck as I stepped inside the building. I knew this venue like the back of my hand, and I meandered through the teeming masses of people in the direction of the dressing rooms. As I approached the door that separated the VIP area from the rest of the venue I raised my pass, ready to flash it at the security guard who stood blocking the door.

But without hesitation, he stepped aside, opening the door as he nodded once, a sly smile on his lips. "It's nice to see you again, Miss Sadie," he said.

"You too, Rob," I replied with a smirk as I slipped into the poorly-lit hallway. I slowed my steps, my nerves building, and I took my time searching for the door. I could hear the pounding of the bass coming from the stage, beating in time with my racing heart. I rounded the corner, catching a glimpse of a familiar face and a smile involuntarily graced my lips