As We Lost the Light

XX.

"Maybe you should see someone, honey," my mom stated as she handed me a glass of water. I gave her a gracious smile as she took a seat in the chair adjacent from my couch, crossing one leg gingerly over the other. "It could help. I know you're hoping that it'll get better with time, but maybe talking about it will speed the process along."

I sighed. I knew she was right. Vic was right, he was the one who had brought it up before he left this morning. My 'dreams' had become a nightly occurrence; actually, they weren't even confined to the night anymore. Sometimes it would hit me in the middle of the day, when I was watching tv or reading a book, and it would drag me under just the same.

I yawned and pinched the bridge of my nose. "I don't know, Mom. I honestly think it has a lot to do with the fact that I have nothing to distract me. I sit in this house all day every day. Once I'm cleared to go back to work in a few weeks I think it'll all blow over." I took a sip of my water and yawned again, almost choking as the liquid slid down my throat.

"But, sweetie look at you; you're exhausted. You're not sleeping, you're not eating, you're just-" she paused when I raised an eyebrow at her. She had apparently been talking to my boyfriend about my behavior, and though I knew that he was just concerned, it still slightly irked me that he would divulge that information to her without my consent. "Im not trying to badger you. I'm just worried. We're all worried. It breaks my heart to see my little girl going through this. And, yes, you're almost twenty-nine years old but you'll always be my little girl."

I let the frown fall from lips and replaced it with a soft smile and she chuckled. I appreciated her concern. And Vic's. Not everyone was lucky enough to have people that truly care. And she was right. I wasn't eating, I wasn't sleeping - I was thoroughly  exhausted. And this wasn't just affecting me, it was affecting Vic, as well. If I wasn't sleeping, he wasn't sleeping. He was stubborn and refused to leave me to spend the night alone, no matter how much I tried to convince him that I could make it through. Every night we were together, either at my place or his, and every night when my nightmares awoke me he was right there, to comfort me and console me.

Besides the physical toll it was taking on him, I knew it was weighing on him mentally as well. I had overheard him on the phone with Mike a few days earlier, telling him how worried he was, how much it scared him when I got lost in my mind. I hated doing that to him, this wasn't his burden to bear, and though he told me over and over that he would gladly take the pain from me, I couldn't help but feel that it wasn't fair.

"I know," I finally responded, shifting my gaze to the window and then back at her. "I'll look into it, okay?" She nodded, seemingly satisfied.

Changing the subject she said," You know, your father and I were quite surprised when Vic showed up at the hospital that night." A wide grin spread across her face. "Seeing as you hadn't mentioned to either of us that you two were seeing each other again."

I rolled my eyes and dug my teeth into my lip as a faint blush rose to my cheeks. "Sorry, I guess it just slipped my mind." I shrugged my shoulders and she laughed. In all honesty I had been afraid to tell my parents about Vic and I; they weren't his biggest fans, not after everything that had happened, and though their approval was not needed, I was an adult after all, their opinion still mattered.

"Mhmm," she mumbled, a hint of sadness flashing over her eyes. "Well, as long as he treats you right this time." She paused, pulling her lips into her mouth and then relaxing. "And it seems like he has been." My heart fluttered and I nodded.

"He has been amazing."

&&

"Have you heard from your mom? Did she make it home okay?" Vic asked, his fingertips tracing patterns over my arm. We were laying on his couch, Vic on his back with his legs outstretched, my body situated between his and the cushions, my head on his chest, my gimp leg draped over his lower half.

I nodded against his shirt, the cotton soft on my cheek. "Yeah, her plane landed a few hours ago. She's back in Seattle with Dad and everything is right in the world." He kissed my hair and I let out a sigh of contentment. "How was practice?"

"It was fine," he replied through a yawn. "Mike was hungover so that made the first few hours rather challenging." I giggled and shook my head. Typical Mike. Silence settled through the living room and I focused in on the sounds of Vic's heartbeat underneath my ear. His fingers slowed against my skin and his breathing evened out as if he was drifting to sleep. I so badly wanted to join him but I knew that if I did it would just bring the nightmares with it.

"I'll do it," I spat. I hadn't meant to say the words out loud, but I did and Vic stirred beneath me.

"Hmm?" He groaned. "Do what, babe?"

"Go see someone. A therapist or something. I'll go." I pulled my head from his chest and looked up at him. I brushed some hair from his forehead and drug my fingers down his face, allowing them to settle on his jaw.

The corner of his lips tugged up ever so slightly and I rested my chin on his chest so I could continue to gaze into his chocolate brown eyes. He didn't say anything in response to my revelation, only nodded and put his fingers under my chin, pulling my lips to his. I tangled my hands in his hair as I allowed my lips to move in time the pace he had set. Vic deepened the kiss and my body ignited at the sensation.

I moved so that I was on top of him, straddling his waist, and I reached for the hem of his shirt, trying to push it up his torso.

His hands slid down my back and over my arms. He grabbed onto my fingers, putting a stop to their movements as he pulled his lips from mine. "Nope, not yet," he murmured, his voice laced with both humor and a hint of annoyance. "You haven't been cleared yet."

"But," I whined, trying again to peel the fabric from his body. My lips brushed against his as I spoke, but he shook his head, peeling my hands away. I sat up and stuck my bottom lip out, hoping my pouting would convince him to reconsider. He groaned when I shifted my weight over his pelvis, but he stood his ground.

"Two more weeks. As soon as the doctor gives you the all clear, I am all yours. But not until then, I don't want to risk it, as much as I hate putting a stop to this." I crossed my arms over my chest and Vic laughed. He managed to slide his body out from under me and stood next to the couch, peering down at me with an amused grin situated across his face. He leaned down so he was level with me and pressed his lips against my ear. "I'll make it worth the wait, I promise." I let out an involuntary gasp and he pulled away, grabbing my arm and pulling me to my feet. "C'mon, let's eat, I'm starving."

"Yeah, whatever," I said with a giggle as I followed him to the kitchen.