Find Your Wings

Hopper & Molt

I was flattered that Emerald called me a soldier. I thought I was anything but. I was already feeling the pain of how awful I was before. After all this time, Emerald was beginning to trust me. I couldn't believe he would talk to me, just like that, about being closer to them. He was the one who decided to have two nymphs live nearby. Pathetic, neither of us could fly at the time.

Soldier wasn't just a compliment. If I knew any better, it was a title.
I had just been promoted.
Molt may have been closer to them than I was but I could hardly care about the rough times before this. I didn't know where we would be if Emerald never thought to come our way. I've seen Flitter raise three nests, and watched her chicks grow. So fast... The life they lived was nothing like what we were taught. I was so used to fighting, every day of my life. So much that I plum forgot what the stars actually looked like at night. Soon after Emerald talked to me, Molt seemed to get the courage to come to me from the nesting tree. I would rarely see him so it surprised me.

"Molt."

"Hop, h-hi."

"Keep cowering like that and you might get stuck that way..."

I gave him a half smile to hopefully ease his nerves a little. I slightly turned to look at the horizon. I could feel that guilt hit me ten fold.

He nervously rubbed the back of his neck as he thought of what to say.

"I kinda overheard ya two talkin'."

"Yeah? Good for you. Glad to know you're paying attention."

That wasn't sarcasm, by the way. I was being serious. Molt fiddled and scratched one of his antennae. There was something going on with him. I was able to feel some of it. It was that same irritation I felt earlier.

"We're leavin' soon... Aren't we?"

"Yeah." I bluntly replied.

He was about to fly back but I stopped him.

"Hey."

Molt shrunk at my sharp tone but then he slowly turned back and looked at me. I frowned, knowing that this was how he was going to be like around me, his own brother, from now on. This was something I brought onto myself.

"I promised Mother that I wouldn't kill you. Remember?"

Molt barely chuckled. "Yeah... That made me pretty happy."

"Look. It's been just us for a long time. It helped me to know how much Flitter trusts you. I ... I was wrong. Okay? I admit it. I was wrong to bully you back home. I didn't want this..." I said, motioning at the literal distance between us.

Molt had this dispondent look in his eyes and that was when I knew that he had the right idea. I bit my lip in anger, at myself.

"How you are, around me, is my fault. Don't think that you had anything to do with it."

"I-I-I didn't want this either, Hop. I-I just can't... help it."

I used to pull his antennae, trip him over, shove him or scratch his loose armor off. I scared him to the point that he lost faith in me. Now I see that it was never worth it. He was the most gentle nymph to ever have lived in the lavender and I screwed that up.

"You remember the day after we fled from the poison rain? You couldn't wake up and I kept shaking you?"

"Yeah..."

"I was scared."

"Naw, you weren't!"

"Yes, I was." I snapped a little louder.

"Ya weren't, Hop, stop it. You're the toughest grasshopper I know."

"The toughest? Yeah, right. I was scared. I was scared of losing you."

Molt froze. He swallowed, hard. But then he gazed down to the blades below us. Slowly, he slightly turned away from me. I sighed.

"You think that I don't care, Molt. Yet you stick around." I brought up, glancing over at him.

"I know ya care. I do. I still think you're tougher than me. You're... my brother."

That guilt just lingered there, deep inside my chest. Yes, we were brothers. The last two grasshoppers in this part of the land.

"I just — get the feeling that ... that you hate me. But I dunno." Molt's voice trembled. "I don't hate you..."

I looked at him, a little surprised at this sudden change. I clenched my claws, tight. My wings fluttered. Everything felt like it was crashing down. I could hear it all in his voice. I had to keep my voice steady.

"Emerald promised that you're always welcome among them, Molt. Things are gonna change. And I promise to be around. You don't have to be near me. Just know that I have your back."

At those final words, I fixed my eyes on him to be sure he got the message. He looked at me one last time, with his mouth slightly ajar. He managed a timid nod. Without a single word, he jumped and flew away.

I just needed him to know that. I didn't know what was going to happen next in the coming days.

Summer was on the way.