Collapsing As It Sees The Pain (Percy Jackson)

Grieving

Percy:

I just felt more and more like shit. Every. Single. Day.

I didn't want to kill myself. I just didn't want to get up. I didn't want to do anything. I didn't want to eat or walk or just.... I wanted to stop existing but not die. And turns out, you can't do that.

It had been a week. The kids would come by with Nico every day. They spent the night the other night again. Gabe has been nice in not trying to make me do stuff too often. He makes sure that I get enough to eat. That I at least walk around my room once or twice between meals. That I do stuff. Small stuff. But stuff.

My parents stop by whenever they can. Dad stopped by once more. Told me that Camp is freaked out. Chiron told them I'm here, but won't tell them why. Most people think I'm dead or on the verge of death.

Peter sort of told me the same thing, just more in depth. The atmosphere there has turned very heavy and dark. But more people are coming out about being depressed. Which, he swore that nobody knows why I'm here. Nico swore not keep his mouth shut, too.

But kids are coming forward about that they need help because that's another thought. That maybe I'm at a therapy session. I'm getting help. Which, a therapist sees me every day during lunch. So that wasn't a lie. I am getting help. Sort of. I'm learning to open up and talk about stuff. Between Nico, the kids, and therapy. Hopefully after this week I can start to get back to me.

Whatever that means.

So it's afternoon and I'm in bed, sitting up. And it was just a bad day. The TV didn't want to work and it was rainy and my therapist couldn't make it. Just had stuff happening. So when Nico and the twins showed up... I wasn't quite there yet. Normally I'm more social and awake when they get here. But I had nothing to do today.

I still don't know when I'm getting out. Soon, hopefully. This was starting to turn into hell. Just bland. Same old same old.

"Daddy!" The twins both yelled as they hurried inside and crawled into my bed like they do every day. And as they went on and on about what they've done since they saw me yesterday, Nico walked over and said hi. Asking how I was doing.

"It hasn't..." I started off. "I've had nothing to do. The TV won't work and my therapist didn't show up and the weather doesn't help me. Have they told you when I get out? I'm getting bored here."

"You complain like your kids." Nico joked with me and rolled his eyes before giving me a small kiss on the forehead. "Yeah. They said today, whenever you want. Your parents signed everything last night. But you can't go to camp. You can next summer, or to visit somebody. But no participation in it. Doctors orders, parents agreed that it was a good choice. So whenever you're ready."

Given another ten minutes, I had enough energy to get up and pack my stuff. I'd have to stop at camp to at least get my stuff. And whatever Dad left me from Tyson.

We were at camp right after lunch. Which was when I walked into my own funeral.

"They have so much faith in me," I remarked to my boyfriend. "That this is my second false funeral. At camp."

Somebody jumped. It was Jason, but I had a feeling it wasn't actually him. I could see Octovain, so it wasn't him. It was...

"I thought you guys said he was dead." Luke Castellans voice suddenly appeared.

"He is." Piper clarified for Luke. "That's why we're having his funeral."

"Who dead?" I asked as I'm standing right behind them.

Of course half of camp jumped in pure shock, and also surprise. Turning around, Luke saw me and hugged the shit out me. Which actually hurt because I had scars that were fresh and still hurt where his skin made contact. But I was thankful, for Nico brought me a long sleeve shirt so I don't have to worry about being questioned. Gods know that would've happened.