Collapsing As It Sees The Pain (Percy Jackson)

What's True

Alex

Percy will make me cry, my gods.

He was asked to perform for the choir as a senior and he agreed to it. They just said to do something that was important to him. So when he stepped on stage, nobody knew what he was going to do. They said he was going to explain the piece before singing it, as did every soloist.

"Hi," Percy started when he stood up to the microphones, putting it at his level. "Sorry, but I'm going to sort of dampen the mood here a bit. Um..."

He paused.

"This song was a written song by me," Percy explained to the crowd. "I wrote this over the summer after um... After a friend of mine shot and killed herself. Many of the seniors here have heard about this, we all have Paul here as a teacher and at the time he was still with my mother when it happened. I believe most people also heard that over the summer, I also tried to commit suicide. It wasn't an easy thing. Luckily, I had a friend of mine with me when I decided to do so and he called in an emergency. But this was written after her very unexpected death. I hope you enjoy it as much as I hated the reason for writing it."

The crowd goes dead silent as the song starts.

I never meant to make it such a mess
I never thought that it would go this far
So I just stand here sorry
Searching for something to say
Something to say
Words fail, words fail
There's nothing I can say
I guess I thought I could be part of this
I never had this kind of thing before
I never had that perfect girl
Who somehow could see the good part of me
I never had the dad who stuck it out
No corny jokes or baseball gloves
No mom who just was there
'Cause mom was all that she had to be
That's not a worthy explanation
I know there is none
Nothing can make sense of all these things I've done
Words fail, words fail
There's nothing I can say
Except sometimes, you see everything you wanted
And sometimes, you see everything you wish you had
And it's right there, right there, right there
In front of you
And you want to believe it's true
So you... make it true
And you think maybe everybody wants it
And needs it... a little bit... too
This was just a sad invention
It wasn't real, I know
But we were happy
I guess I couldn't let that go
I guess I couldn't give that up
I guess I wanted to believe
'Cause if I just believe
Then I don't have to see what's really there
No, I'd rather pretend I'm something better than
These broken parts
Pretend I'm something other than
This mess that I am
'Cause then I don't have to look at it
And no one gets to look at it
No, no one can really see
'Cause I've learned to slam on the brake
Before I even turn the key
Before I make the mistake
Before I lead with the worst of me
I never let them see the worst of me
'Cause what if everyone saw?
What if everyone knew?
Would they like what they saw?
Or would they hate it too?
Will I just keep on running away from what's true?
All I ever do is run
So how do I step in
Step into the sun?
Step into the sun

Did I cry?

I wasn't the only one. Half the crowd, if not more, we're moved by this. They were crying actual tears.

Percy

Bianca is a touchy subject. Did you really think Annabeth wouldn't be?

I got a text right away, from Grover. Telling me to move my ass and get to camp. So I told my mom I had to go. I didn't know why. So the goodbyes, we didn't know how long those would be for. I, of course, had to promise the kids I'd be back.

Of course, Micah wouldn't leave me alone. So I told him to shut up if he wanted to come with. Which meant he shut up and got in my car as I called Grover.

"Hey, dude, are you on your way?" Grover asked me, sounding anxious.

"I just got in my car," I assured him. "I'm coming from the school. Is Luke there? I didn't see him at the school at all."

"He just got here, yeah." Grover assured after a moment. "Just like, hurry."

"I'll go as fast as I can manage in New York City traffic."

Of course, traffic got backed up.

So let me explain the tension in this vechicle right now.

I see Micah every day, yeah. We have classes together. But we don't sit next to each other at all, and he's not in swimming. Thus, we normally don't talk to each other.

And we haven't since he gave me that letter thing. I haven't heard anything, so I'm assuming he hasn't told anyone else. I've been worried about my own world.

The radio wasn't on, we aren't talking, and I'm worried. So I called Grover after a few minutes.

"Are you almost here?" Grover asked, sounding freaked out at this point. "Please tell me you're almost here."

"Um... Traffic is backed up." I told my best friend. "Can you like send Nico or something? There's two people in my car, myself and somebody else. He's done a lot more before. It's a short jump."

"Not exactly, no." Grover told me, getting slightly quieter. "How far are you from Half-Blood Hill?"

I guessed around 4 or 5 miles. It would take at least a half hour with traffic.

"Then just... Run?" My best friend suggested. "You need to get here, man. Pull over and run here."

"It's that bad?"

"Yes!"

I sighed and told him I was on my way.

When I pulled off to the side of the road, Micah got really confused.

"What are we doing?" He was scared.

"Running." I told him. "You used to do track, right? Long distance? It's 4½ miles."

Getting out of the car, we jogged there.