Never the Same

Thirteen

I wake up to see an arm around my waist and a radiant smile looking down on me. Ryder's. I look down and see that I'm only wearing his black V-neck. Shit, what happened last night? Oh god, we didn't? Did we?

"Let me answer your question, no we didn't have sex. I came over and we were about to but you told me to stop and you just ended up taking my shirt," Ryder's morning voice said, oh sweet baby Jesus help me be mad at this sex god that can read my mind.

"You can like read my mind man," I say and ignore everything he said, so I didn't lose my virginity to Ryder and give him a HUGE part of my life. Aspen-1 Ryder- 184729272 because he broke my heart. I forgot about that, I send a mental prayer up to baby Jesus. Hey baby Jesus, it's Aspen. Listen I will do anything if you could give me the strength to be mad and stubborn it would be a lot of help. P.S. May be a difficult task because he's a sex god.

"Aspen? Did you just hear what I said?" Ryder waves his hand in front of my face and snaps me back to reality. I forgot to say amen.

"What? Yeah, sure, I guess why not?" I'm just taking guesses assuming he asked me a question.

"I said, let me quote 'you're an open book.'" Idk if that's a compliment or an insult. He probably thinks I'm insane, good he'll stay away from me.

"Thanks? Now get out of my house." I pointed my finger to the door and stuck my nose up, he just chuckles. "Whats so funny?"

"That you're telling me to get out but you're wearing my shirt." He just laughs some more while I grab my top from the floor and look at him. "What?"

"Turn around, I'm changing." My voice was serious, honestly I was scared as hell that he'd judge me.

"Nothing I haven't seen before." He puts his hands behind his head, making his biceps flex, my eyes wander down his body to his well defined abs and perfect v-line. "Done eye raping me, Smith?"

"I wasn't eye raping you." I feel my cheeks turning red, no not a good sign. I quickly throw his shirt over my head and throw my normal one on. I throw Ryder his shirt and point to the door.

"You've got a nice little body Aspen." He throws a wink before throwing on his shirt.

"Oh god, I'm not in the mood for your games." I kept holding the door wide open but he just sat there.

"Aspen, will you please be quiet," my mom says and walking into the room. "OH. I didn't know y'all were, and I was interrupting."

"Mom, Ryder was just leaving. It's not what it looks like." I beg my mom to understand that me and Ryder weren't together.

"I was just going Mrs. Smith, nice to see you and bye Aspen," Ryder says and walks out blushing.

"Aspen Smith! Why was this boy in your room? In your bed? That's totally inappropriate," my mom yells at me. My mom was never one to yell. I jump back, scared by her.

"Mom. He just came over to apologize for ya know. Breaking my heart. Well he didn't exactly say, "I'm sorry for breaking your heart." He just came over and I made him sleep on the floor," I explain. Most of it was true!

"Okay. I believe you hunny. Alison called the home phone, I'd call her if I was you." My mom walked off. It's been hard on her, she's hardly home and she's sleep deprived. It's not good.

I call Alison, on the third ring she answers cheerfully, "Hey girl."

"Hey what's up," I ask in a gloomy tone.

"We're going costume shopping remember? Shawn's Halloween party? Well early Halloween party. Everyone's going!"

"Of course I didn't forget!" The lies, oh I'm a horrible liar, my voice got all high.

"Yes you did, me and Blair are about to pick you up! Be ready! Our Halloween costume theme: super heros." With that she hangs up. I run into the bathroom and throw my hair in a low messy bun, I applied concealer, eyeliner, and mascara. I put my contacts in and brush my teeth. I decided to wear a tight white shirt that says 'praduh', some shorts that start at white then go black and were high waisted, and some white converse.

AFTER THE SHOPPING

We decided to go get ready at Alison's house, Alison decided to choose a Wonder Women outfit, the top half was strapless and was red with the wonder women logo on it, at the waist it had a gold belt, the shirt was blue with gold stars, she decided to get the boots that were red with some white down the middle. She did her basic makeup.

Blair decided to go as Batwomen, her whole outfit was black, the top half had the batman logo right on her chest in bright yellow, her yellow weapon belt complimented her tan complexion, the bottom of the skirt was cut out like bird wings. She decided to wear black knee high boots. She did the cat eye eyeliner and pink lips.

I decided to go as Super women, the top was a half top that showed my belly and was a long sleeved blue top with the superwoman logo on the front. The shirt had the belt a leather gold and the other was a red leather. The top had a red cape that matched my red knee high boots with gold at the top.

"Your body is perfect like stop," Blair complimented and smiled.

"Um I don't have the boobs to pull either of y'all's costumes off," I smile and compliment the both of them.

"We have a surprise for you," Alison said, she had her normal glow in the face.

"That would be?" I raise my eyebrow in suspicion and put on foundation.

"Well we told the boys about out theme and they chimed in, and Ryder wanted to be Superman."

"That's fine we should go. I heard its gonna rain tonight." Why Ryder?

When we got to the party we were greeted by the boys. Shawn opened the door and said, "Glad y'all could make it."

"Thanks for having us dude," Alison said and he smirked at her, Jaydon pulled her inside because Shawn was eyeing her pretty hard.

"And who might you be," Shawn asks when I get through the door with Ryder right by my side.

"I'm Aspen," I said and twirl my hair with my finger, I could tell Ryder was getting jealous.

"Well it's not every day that I get to see a girl as beautiful as you." He winks and I start blushing. Ryder storms off into the kitchen. "What's his problem?"

"He needs to lighten up and get a drink." I smile till my cheeks hurt.

"Or he likes you. Can't see why you came with him when you could have any guy you wanted." Shawn's the running back for our football team, I've seen him at a couple parties but we never talked.

"Want something to drink?" I really need a drink and hopefully he can guide me around here. He smiles and places his hand on my back, leading me into the kitchen. I look around but Ryder is nowhere to be found. Shawn starts to use the keg and hands me a red cup. I chug it down, baby Jesus knows I'll need a drink to survive tonight.

"So how come I haven't seen you around before," Shawn asks as I jump onto the counter.

"You have, I play volleyball and I'm the cheer captain, kinda wasted a year on my life with Connor," I say and take another sip out of my drink.

"Oh yeah! Connor's girl! So how was it?"

"What do you mean?" I cock my eyebrow and push my hair behind my shoulder, before taking another sip.

"Sex for the first time. How was it?" I nearly spit out my drink but I force myself to swallow it.

"Um. I'm a virgin." I whisper the word virgin.

"Oh baby. You won't be after tonight." His tone was seductive as he wraps his arm around my waist.

"I'm leaving. Bye." I struggle out of his grasp and into the living room where I find my two bestfriends making out with their boyfriends in the living room. I sigh and walk towards the door trying to find a familiar face. Right then when I look up the stairs, I see the Ryder Johnson pulling his shirt down followed by Hailee the Hoe trying to fix her dress. I swear if I didn't know what heartbreak was before I definitely know now. Me and Ryder make eye contact and he freezes and I storm off into the pouring rain.