Never the Same

Thirty-five

ASPENS POV

As I stood in front of this fitting room mirror, I really don't see me anymore. I'm here, the day before my dad's funeral, trying on my bridesmaid gown. It was a tad bit big and I had to hold it up. "Mom, ask if they have this gown in a size two. Three is too big," I yell out to her and the guy helping us.

All the other bridesmaids got their gowns... but I was off on 'vacation' as my mom and her fiancée like to say.

"Here you go sweetie," the guy said and slid the dress under. I quickly change into the new dress and feel so much more comfortable with my figure. The dress was a pale pink that showed off my tan very well, it perked my boobs up, under the boobs had a diamond belt, the dress was high low and hardly showed off my legs, but it was really fitted and made my hair look golden and angelic.

"Do you want to see Mom," I ask quietly, still shocked how the dress was meant for my body type.

"Of course! Come on out," she practically screamed. I unlock the dressing room and walk over to where her and the helper, Kiel, stood.

"Get on the center spot honey," Kiel said and pointed to this circular step. I stood on it and put my hand on my hip.

"You look absolutely stunning," my mom said, she was struggling to get the words out. I rolled my eyes, she's over exaggerating.

"Thanks mom," I say softly and smile a tad bit.

"Let me take a picture for Dave!" She pulls her phone out of her purse and asks Kiel how to work it. I lower my head in shame, how does she not know how to work a phone?

"Smile," Kiel said and I smiled, showing both rows of my perfectly lined teeth.

"Send that to me mom," I say before going and changing into my floral tank top, Ryder's leather jacket that I stole, dark wash jeans, and my black combat boots.

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I stand here today with tears in my eyes and an aching pain in chest. Stop crying, be strong. I look at my reflection in the mirror, my skin tight black dress with long sleeves, black thin tights, and my black combat boots. My hair was in my loose natural curls, my only makeup product on was waterproof mascara.

"Hun, you ready to go," my mom yells from downstairs. I quickly grab my final words for my dad.

"Yeah," I barely say. Everyone I care about was even gonna be there: Ryder, Trenton, Camden, Jaydon, Alison, Blair, and Kate.

We drive there with Dave, now I know you must ask, Why is Dave coming to my dad's funeral?

"I'm gonna be supportive for you and your mom," he said the night before. Supportive my ass. He's been supporting my mom alright. But not me.

"Is Ms. Daniella gonna be there," I ask when we get there.

"I think so, with Ryder and Carlos," My mom said and applied red lipstick.

"That's good." I miss Daniel though, he's my favorite.

When we arrive, everyone says their apologies to me and my mom. Half of these people didn't even know him. Your dad was great. I'm sorry he passed. I would just smile and say, "Thank you."

"Hi baby," someone behind me says and hugs me from behind. Ryder.

"No PDA," Carlos comes up and says.

I roll my eyes and say, "You're just jealous. Does someone want a hug to?"

"Yes! I mean, um, yeah sure. Whatever." Ryder doesn't let go of my waist as much as I struggle out of it to hug Carlos.

"Dude let go." I struggle even more and his grip just tightens.

"He just likes your boobs," Ryder whispers in my ear so no one else can hear. I stop struggling as the hairs on the back of my neck stand up.

"So do you, so I'd shut up." I smile softly at him as he turns me around so I'm facing him.

"And your face, your humor, your caringness, your stupid insults, and you." I smile again at how stupid he is.

Right when I was about to kiss him, my aunt walks over and says, "I'm so sorry about your dad sweetie. Why who is this?" She was from my moms side and I really hated my moms family and kept everything a secret from them.

"It's fine. I'll be fine. This is my boyfriend, Ryder, and his brother Carlos," I say and point to each of them, separating myself from Ryder.

"Well I think you've got yourself a keeper, even though your cousin is prettier." I give her a fake head nod and an annoyed smile while I run my fingers through my hair.

"Listen, I don't want to cause drama but I came here to grieve about my dad's death. Not worship your ugly daughter." With those words out, I walk over to my friends with Ryder.

"What was that all about," Ryder asks when we get to the group.

"Nothing important baby." I smile softly at everyone as each of them give me a hug.

"I'm so sorry Aspen," Alison whispered in my ear as she gave me a friendly hug.

"I'm really sorry," Kate whispered in my ear and gave me a friendly hug.

"Your dad was my favorite Smith. He was funnier than you," Blair whispered in my ear, earning a hit on the head from me when we hugged.

"I'm sorry baby," Jaydon said and hugged me tightly.

"Me too," Camden says and hugs me a tad bit tighter than Jaydon did.

"Me three," Trenton says and hugs me softly.

"So how are you guys," Blair asks me and Ryder while Camden wraps an arm around her waist.

"Well, me and him are very good. I got my bridesmaid dress fitted yesterday, wanna see," I ask everyone except Ryder.

"Yes," the girls squealed at the same time while all the boys nodded.

"Here." I grabbed my phone out of my jacket pocket and handed it to them with the picture my mom took of me. "Just don't show Ryder."

"Why not baby," he asks and pouts his bottom lip out.

"Because you'll have to wait two months." I run my thumb over his bottom lip and smile softly.

"You know that honeymoon night can be fun for us to?" I gasp as he winks seductively as me.

"Get some," Jaydon yelled and I