Never the Same

Twenty-six

"You're joking right? Sick sense of humor you dildo. Get out," I say and hop off the counter, gesturing to the door. Ryder just shakes his head and looks at his feet.

"I'm not joking. That's why your mom is depressed, that's why she made me come here. I didn't want to come, trust me, anything is better than thinking about you and what we have. She begged me, Dave hardly knows you, Alison and Blair are going through the same thing your mom is and I was her last resort. Now pack your stupid shit, you're coming back home right now. The flight is in an hour, I'll go check you out," Ryder says and bumps my arm on his way out.

"Shouldn't I have a say in this? Like I said before, it's not fair. I'm not your fucking toy, I'm staying here, I'm living here and you have no say in it. You hardly even know me anymore, you're nothing to me anymore Ryder." I scream down the hall to him, I hope nobody is hearing this.

"Oh yeah? Here, call your mom and tell her you aren't coming home. Go ahead do it." He grabs his phone out of his pocket and shoves it near me.

"I can't. It'll hurt her, I need to forget about that life and focus on my new one." I push his phone away from me and he just laughs a cold laugh.

"Of course, this great new life with boys who fancy you and hurt you. This great life where you cut. This great life where your weak, you're not at top anymore. Deal with it." We were inches apart and he had at least a good couple inches over me.

"I'm not weak and you know that Ryder. He only hurt me because you were there! I guess he fancies me, if he fancies me then he's obviously gonna be mad that this new guy that's all over me." I was screaming at him by this point.

"I'm not all over you. You wish. You're the one that's all over me." He had his award winning smirk plastered on his face, god I wanted to slap him so badly.

"Oh yeah, what was the reason I left? Because you fucked me! Let's face it Ryder, I'm the girl of your dreams and I don't want anything to do with you!" I shove him away from me and run towards the elevator. I go down to the lobby and run out, I go to my hiding spot on the beach and see Taylor sitting down.

"Hey Taylor," I say and wipe the tears from my eyes, I won't cry in front of my best friend.

"Hey. Sit down, you look very depressed," Taylor's soothing voice said and patted the board next to him. When I moved here, Taylor moved here and we found this old lifeguard place and we made it "our" place. We normally go here to get away from people, or we're upset. I sit next to Taylor and let my feet dangle off the edge of the board.

"Ryder's here." I lean my head on his shoulder and he wraps his arm around me. Taylor and Ryder don't get along, as you can tell. Taylor tenses at the mention of Ryder, I feel bad but I had to tell someone.

"What? When did he get here? Why is he here? I swear to god, if he touched you then I'm gonna kill him." I laugh at all the questions and the way Taylor talks through his gritted teeth.

"Ryder is here in LA. He got here... Probably a couple days ago since he showed up at my apartment complex, Austin told him to leave but I said he was with me, stupid mistake. And we ran into Brad and then they started fighting and this happened." I roll the sleeves of my shirt up and showed him, he knew about me cutting when I got here, he blames himself, silly little boy. Taylor grabs my hand and nods for me to continue. "And then we went to my apartment and put band aids on the wounds. Then he told me that my dad died and I told him to leave and we started fighting and here I am." We look out to the beach and I smile about how calm it is. I didn't notice I was crying until Taylor takes his hand out of mine and wipes my tears away.