What My Best Friend Doesn't Know (BoyxBoy)

Chapter One: James

"Dude, we are finally seniors," I say to my best friend, Ryan, as he lays next to me in my bed with a game controller in his hands. 

"Shhh I'm literally so close to beating this boss shut the fuck up," he snaps. 

He was playing Dark Souls 3 and was facing Midir. He's been trying to beat it for a good hour. I thought it was a decently easy boss to beat, but he thinks it's the hardest one. 

"Fuck!" Ryan shouts and throws my controller on the bed in front of him. 

"Did you die again?" I ask. 

"Yes!" He said sounding very displeased. 

"Cool. As I was saying; can you believe we are actually seniors this year? I mean, where has the time gone?" I ask. 

Ryan laughed, "You sound like my mom. 'Oh Ryan,'" he said in a high pitched voice, "'where has the time gone? I swear only yesterday I was dropping you off on your first day of preschool!'"

We both laughed, "Seriously though. I know. It's insane. Soon there will be no more teachers, no more crappy hallways, no more Riverbrook High in general. I'm so excited." Ryan said. 

"I am too. I can't believe at this time next year I will be studying law at Harvard," I say, "Can you believe it?" 

He smirks, "You're still too dumb for Harvard."

"You're too dumb for Yale, but you're going there," I reply. 

"Shut up. I've had a 4.0 all four years of high school. I mean so have you, but that's not the point," Ryan says laughing. 

I stand up from my bed, and walk to my TV and shut it off. I walk back to my bed and lay across him. This isn't weird for us. We've always acted a little different than best friends. We've always been really close, and laying on top of each other, sitting with our arms linked, or standing with my arm around his shoulder... those things just aren't weird to us. 

They are to everyone else though. We live in a very conservative town. Our whole town is full of church goers who scream a Bible verse at everything they don't like. Especially homosexuals. People have questioned Ryan and me before, but I think everyone knows now that we are just friends. Just friends who act like a couple. 

Is it weird for us to act the way we do? No. It isn't, because I've known Ryan since we were in diapers. There is no boundary that we haven't crossed. It isn't weird to us. But the whole town would hate us if it were real. 

"So Yale?" I say, "Why Yale?" 

"They have a killer psychology program. Law school? Never really seemed like something you would want to do. Why law?" Ryan asked. 

I sighed, "It was my mom's dream remember? 'My son is going to be a big lawyer someday. You wait and see.' When she died, I told myself that's what I'm going to do. Study law, and become the 'big lawyer' my mom wanted me to be." 

"But something tells me that's not what you want to do," Ryan says. 

"It's not," I reply rolling over to face him, "I want to do something with music. I want to be a professional musician. I want to go to Julliard.  But I've been accepted into Harvard, and that's what I'm going to do." I plop back down on the bed beside him. 

"Dude it wouldn't hurt to just fill out an application. Come on. Just do it!" He says excitedly. 

I shake my head, "Do you know how mad my dad would be? No way."

Ryan pulls his laptop out from his bag, and looks up an application. "It says you have to fill this out, and you would have to audition. I don't know if it means send in a video or in person. It could be either one. It depends on what you'd be going there for. I'm assuming singing, piano, or trumpet right?" 

"You're really being serious aren't you?" I laugh, "If you must know, I would go to sing, because that's what I love most. If I could double major I would pair it with trumpet."

He passes me his computer and I sigh. I fill out the application, and read what it says for vocals. "It says there is a live audition in February. I would have to fly all the way to New York. Dude my dad would never agree to that."

Ryan leans over me and hits submit. "Who cares. If you get a letter you'll tell him. If not, it's not a big deal. Good luck! I should go home. I'll pick you up for school tomorrow at 8:00. See you tomorrow."

I sit there as he leaves with my mouth hanging slightly open. I just applied to Julliard. Holy shit, I just applied to Julliard. I'm dead. I am soooooo dead. At this point I don't even care! I laugh and walk downstairs. 

"Hey J, what's got you in such a good mood?" My dad asks as I walk to the kitchen where he is making dinner for my little sister, who's a freshman this year, and me. 

I smile, "Nothing dad. Just happy my last first day is tomorrow."

He smiles back, "You're making your mother proud."

My smile fades as I remember what my mom wanted. I can't go to Julliard. What was I thinking?!

"You okay, kid?" My dad asks concerned. 

I clear my throat, "Yeah, I'm fine. Just uh... hungry." I don't meet his eyes. I feel like I';ve literally just let everyone down. Crap...