What My Best Friend Doesn't Know (BoyxBoy)

Chapter 19: James

Once Ryan and I compose ourselves and clean ourselves off, we sit down on his bed to finally have a real discussion about what has been going on between us. 

"So..." I start, "This... this stuff we've been doing. We can both agree that we shouldn't be doing it right?" 

Ryan nods, "and if anyone were to find out we would be disowned by both of our families and our entire town." 

"Right.... what does this make us? Does this make us gay for liking to get off with each other? And getting off from the other person doing things to us." 

Ryan shrugs and lets his head fall. He pinches the bridge of his nose and looks back up at me. "We need to stop. Maybe we should not hang out alone for a while." 

I slowly nod, "Even thought that's gonna suck... I think that is a good way to keep our dicks to ourselves. Maybe we should each spend some more time with our respective girls. Get into relationships with them maybe. Spend some time trying to be normal guys in their senior year of high school." 

Ryan nods, dropping his head again. 

"Look I should go home. It's been a long night and I need to check on Rosie. I'll uh... I'll see you at school on Monday okay?" I say. 

He nods and I let myself out. I drive my dad's jeep back home and quietly walk inside. I see my dad sitting in his chair in front of the TV asleep. I can vaguely hear some soft music coming from what I'm assuming is Rosie's room. 

My limbs are suddenly feeling too heavy. My head feels like it might explode. Why am I just now starting to feel like this? 

I slowly make my way into the kitchen to get a glass of water and some Ibuprofen for my head. I climb the stairs slowly and see Rosie's door open a crack.  I knock softly on the door. 

"Come in" 

I push the door open and Rosie looks up from the floor. She had a book in her hands and some Lewis Capaldi song was playing softly from her radio. 

"Hey," I say quietly. 

She gives me a half-hearted smile, "Hey." 

"Can I sit?" 

She nods to the space on the floor in front of her. I ease myself down onto the floor and sigh when I get seated. My head is still pounding, my eye is swollen, my hand hurts. I honestly feel like I've been hit by a truck. It's my own fault though. 

"Are you okay?" I ask her after a few moments of silence pass between us. 

She nods but her gaze drops to the book in her lap. 

"I'm sorry for what happened tonight. I really lost my cool." 

"Yeah you did," she replies, "but it's okay I guess. You were just trying to help." 

"It was still uncalled for. Plus now I'm paying the price for it. I feel like I've been hit by a truck." 

She chuckles softly, "Serves you right. You shouldn't go around punching people." 

I smile softly, "Yeah I've learned my lesson. Dad is gonna rip me a new one tomorrow morning." 

"Yeah I told him what happened when I got home. He wasn't happy. He said he was gonna take you to the field and make you run laps as a punishment." 

"I'll pass out if I still feel the way I do right now. I feel awful." I say.

"You look awful. Just looking at your eye is making me woozy."

"Thanks.... I'm gonna hit the hay. I'll see you in the morning."

"Okay... see ya." 

I walk out of her room and shut the door behind me. I walk into my room and flop onto my bed. I start to think about the conversation I had with Ryan. How we agreed not to be alone together for a while. My head spins with the idea of what that means. It means no more studying together in our rooms or playing video games into the early hours of the morning. It means not lying in bed watching movies or Sports Center.