What My Best Friend Doesn't Know (BoyxBoy)

Chapter Seven: James

As soon as we get back to my house, I run upstairs to  take a shower. I take it quickly because since it's the second day if school, that means it was our first real day. Ryan and I have homework. After my shower I walk into my room wearing nothing but a towel. Ryan is lying on his stomach in my bed with earbuds in. 

I throw on some boxers and a pair of basketball shorts, then walk to my bed. I throw an arm across Ryan, and lay down next to him. He was watching a conspiracy video that Shane Dawson posted. 

He takes an earbud out of his ear, and smiles at me. We were really close. I mean, so close that our noses are almost touching. We just kind of stare at each other for a while. I caught myself glancing at his lips a few times, and him doing the same looking at mine. 

"Ryan?" I whisper. 

"Hm," He says back. 

"Is this weird?" I ask. 

He shrugs, and moves slightly closer to me. I feel weird. I want to kiss him. I mean, I really want to kiss him. From the look on his face I can tell he wants to kiss me too, so why not? I slowly close the distance between us, and our lips lock. Ryan seems too shocked to move for a second, but soon he responds to me. He kisses me back. He actually starts kissing me back. 

We only stay with our lips touching for maybe three seconds. When I pull away, I see that his eyes are still closed like he was savoring the moment. When he opens his eyes I see the same look that I feel. 

Scared. 

I think we both know we can't do this. Not now, not ever. I immediately bolt up from my bed, and walk to the opposite side of my room. Ryan sits up on his elbows on the bed. 

"Fuck," I hiss while running my hands through my hair. 

"James," Ryan says. 

"Why did that just happen?" I ask frantically, "Why did we just do that?!" 

"James," Ryan says again. 

"Maybe that didn't even happen! Maybe we both just imagined it happened. That's a possibility right?" I was really panicking for some reason. 

"James!" Ryan says again, but this time he puts his hands on my shoulders to stop me from pacing around my room. When did he even get up? 

"What!" I respond. 

"Stop freaking out. It's fine," He says calmly. 

"Fine?!" I say frantically, "Do you realize where we live?" 

He chuckles, "Trust me, I know where we live." 

"So why are you so okay with this?!" 

"Because it was just a kiss. It's not a big deal," He says. 

I groan. Not a big deal. Is a kiss really a big deal? I think it is. But... what if you like it. Is it an even bigger deal? I sit down on my bed, and put my head in my hands. Ryan sits down next to me. He very cautiously wraps his arm around my shoulders. I sigh. My body instinctively relaxes when he touches me. It's just so normal for us to do little things like this that even if I'm stresses I immediately relax around him. Why am I like this? 

He takes his arm from around my shoulders, and grabs his backpack. 

He clears his throat, "So um, homework?"
*   *   *   *   *   *   *
A few hours later my dad called us for dinner. I still felt a little strange, but after setting my mind to homework, the feeling mostly went away. When we walked down, my dad and Rosie were already seated at the table waiting for us. We sit down and my dad says a quick prayer before we eat, then we dig in. 

"So how was school?" My dad asks. 

Rosie starts going on about her day, and her classes, and her friends. I glance over at Ryan, but he's too busy eating to notice. 

"How was practice today, James?" My dad asks. 

"A lot better than yesterday," I reply. 

"That's good. Your coach texted me about it. He told me you killed it today," My dad smiled. 

I smiled back, and continued eating. Ryan got a text, and sneaked a look from under the table. I read the message. It was from his mom. 

'Need you home ASAP.'

Ryan looked over to me with a quizzical expression. 

"Hey Mr.R, my mom needs me home. Can James be excuse so he can drive me?" Ryan asks. 

My dad nods, "See you later Ryan!" 

Ryan runs up to grab his backpack then runs back down. I had my keys in my hands, and then we were out the door. While in the car, I felt awkward. We were alone again. I didn't feel comfortable. I pull into his driveway, and he looks over at me before he gets out. 

"Stop worrying okay? I can see it in your face," Ryan says, then gets out of the car before I can say anything. 

I wonder why his mom needed him home. I hope nothing's wrong.