THE LEAKY CAULDRON ° FANFIC REVIEWS

NEVER SAY NEVER @iimarauders034

REVIEW FOR "NEVER SAY NEVER" BY iimarauders034

GRACE'S REVIEW:

The prologue is very vague, it's a nice start to the story but it's also somewhat confusing to the reader - was the protagonist born a fawn or was being an animagi something discovered slightly later?
I'm not a fan of first person writing and switching between the POVs but I'm aware that a lot of people do and the writing makes up for the lay out (this is an opinion not something that you should feel the need to change)
There are some spelling and grammar issues but they could be very easily fixed.
I'm not quite sure if James and Sirius are in a higher year than Echo or something but if not I don't think they knew eachother before Hogwarts, considering they come from very different backgrounds I doubt their families would have allowed them to become friends and they certainly wouldn't already have nicknames for eachother (they might but definitely not padfoot and prongs as those are nicknames earned from their animagis, things they didn't discover until fourth to fifth year)
There's issues with grammar in chapter titles, I would recommend getting someone else to read over your work before you publish it as I know how easy it is to miss your own mistakes.

Not really an issue but from what I know from the books, Remus Lupin's nickname is spelt "Moony" rather than "Mooney"

Please don't use an exclamation and question marks repetitively ("What!?!? No way!") as it looks sloppy and off putting to the reader.
I'm really glad you've decided to name you chapters as they're a lot more appealing than the standard "Chapter one" But using one of the last sentences in the chapter doesn't give the sentence as much affect to the sentence as it could when reading it in the story.
When Peter is introduced in the first chapter your OC "immediately knows there is something off about him" Peter Pettigrew wasn't always evil and he didn't become a death eater until after Hogwarts, throughout their school years (and for a while after) Peter Pettigrew was a marauder and a best friend to James, Sirius and Remus. There is nothing to be off about him in the time period you're writing in.
The chapters are very short and I couldn't get much of a story based off the first three (which could be put together to make one chapter) because of this I had to read almost the entire book to get an idea of the story.
It's still very vague on what year the marauders are in, I can assume second to third year But I'm quite unsure.
Please start a new line every time someone speaks, this wasn't an issue for the first chapter or so but it has become increasingly hard to tell who is talking.

Lily is very out of character, She didn't admit to liking James until seventh year when they began dating and she probably wouldn't have liked him for too long before that.
So clearly the characters aren't in their first year but I'm not sure what year they're in, maybe you mentioned it but I missed it, I'm slightly confused.
A lot of the characters are off, specifically Lily, Peter and Remus. Lily isn't a jealous bitch, Peter isn't evil and food obsessed (well, maybe a little but he doesn't constantly have chocolate frogs and wouldn't lick the floor because he dropped chocolate) Remus wouldn't tell Echo about his lycanthropy, if he did it certainly wouldn't be at breakfast, when everyone could hear.

The OC is supposedly an animagi (judging by the prologue) and it was never mentioned again, like, at all for the majority of the story.

Overall the plot is good, The idea is good. But some of the story is very cliche and Echo can be somewhat a Mary Sue at times. I would recommend editing this book because it has amazing potential but the story isn't quite executed properly.