krampus 🌷 tracob

13

Four Days 'Til Christmas (Part Two) - There For You.

Troye's pov

A kiss in the dark. "You'll be okay," He promises. I touch a hand to his arm, pulling him closer and kissing him back. He winces as if my fingers were hot coal, pulling away before pecking my lips once more. And he disappears without another word.

...

"Troye, why so quiet?" Steele mutters, nudging my foot as I sit down on the couch next to him. 

"Nothing," I whisper, scooting a fair space away from him and popping open the bag of crisps.

"Mhm, whatever you say, bro. Don't think I haven't noticed a change in you in the last week." He points out as I spread the bag ends apart and stick my fingers in. I pull out a crisp and pop it in my mouth, listening to the both satisfying and cringe-worthy sound of it crushing between my teeth.

"What's so wrong with change?" I ask, trying my best to seem uninterested but honestly, I'm dying to know.

He hums, "Nothing, I'm just saying. You're acting different. Maybe good different, I wouldn't know... can never manage to get in a room with you for more than ten minutes before you run off."

I frown, can't help but feel guilty. I really am a terrible brother. 

"'m sorry, I don't mean to be so selfish." I murmur, sighing and closing the bag. Losing my appetite has started to come easy. I push the bag to the side and hold my knees up to my chest, resting my cheek on my knees and looking over at him with dull eyes. 

Steele frowns, tilting his head to the side.

"Hey, you're not selfish. What's going on with you?" He questions, being more of a parent to me than my own two. 

I shrug, "I don't know, Tyde said some things this morning that kinda hurt my feelings."

Lo and behold, Tyde himself walks into the living room sipping a LaCroix.

"Nevermind... it's nothing. Sorry to bother you," I mutter and stand up as Tyde sits down, walking off in the direction of my room. 

Making me jump a bit, Steele walks up behind me and grabs my arm.

"W-wha?" I ask as he pulls me out the front door and onto the front porch. 

He lets go once we're outside and sits down on the steps. I regain my composure and sit down next to him. 

"What did he say?" He asks, shoving his hand in his pocket and fishing out a pack of smokes. I didn't even know he smoked. 

He flicks open the carton, pulling out a lighter and cigarette.

"He uh- he just said I was acting crazy and said some things to hurt my feelings, tattled on me about some stupid stuff to Mum and Dad this morning- hey, I didn't know you smoke." I cut myself off, nodding to the cigarette he just slipped past his lips and lit. 

He shrugs, "It's an occasional thing... Yeah, I got the gossip from Mum once Tyde was finished."

My cheeks tinge in embarrassment. I gulp and look forward at the street buzzing with life. 

"So- so you know?" I speculate.

He nods, "Yeah, and I don't care. What you do on your own terms is your own business, just like smoking is for me. I'm just worried if you're alright."

"So, what did Tyde say to you?" He adds, glancing at me and squinting his eyes as he takes a drag and pulls the filter from his lips, sighing out the smoke to the side so it wouldn't hit my face. 

I bite down on my bottom lip, turning away from him and looking to the side. Tears well up in my eyes as I release my lip and nod to myself. I can do this. 

"He uh- he said the things I do- he said it's disgusting. He just- he revealed the one thing I'm most emotional about. He made me feel disgusting, just like he said, he made me feel like what I do on my 'own terms' was wrong. I just... I don't know. He made me feel like a whore." I admit, not daring to look over at my older brother. 

He places a hand on my back, smoothing his palm back and forth. 

"Oh, Troye..." He trails off.

"Kiddo, don't listen to him. He's still young and immature, he must just be saying things to try and get to you. It's what kids do. And Troye, it really does seem like you're maturing, like you're getting your shit together. I'm very proud of you, even if no one else is. But you shouldn't be taking our little brother's words to heart, he doesn't know any better. Maybe one day he'll realise that what he said was wrong. Because it is. What you do with your body is your business. Who you love is your business. And I think that it doesn't make you any different, you're still the same crazy little brother I love and adore." 

I crack a smile, sitting my arms on my knees and resting my cheek down on my arm, staring out at the street.

"Thank you, Steele... I'm sure you guys already knew I was gay. I'm positive you guys have known since Dad caught me gushing over Troy Bolton from High School Musical." I let out a small chuckle, thinking back to the first time I ran up to the telly and kissed the screen when it panned over to the beaut of a boy. I also remember the first time I touched myself to Breaking Free.

He chuckles along, "Yeah but Tyde never really caught on. Though our family accepts you, many others don't. Though our family cheers and supports every relationship you enter, others don't. He's most likely heard just about every rumour there is, he's probably been fed so many lies. They've probably influenced him into thinking being gay is some kind of sin. It's God-awful."

"Mhm," I hum. 

"But maybe one day after he's hit puberty and experienced his own little crisis, he'll realise how ridiculous he's been. Though you may not get one, you do deserve an apology. But even if you don't get one, know we still love you. We love and adore you for all you're worth, even when you have your fits and ruin our lives. You're our little Tasmanian devil." He teases, nudging into my side. 

I look over at him and narrow my eyes, trying to hold back the growing smile he made appear.

"Did you really just call me a cartoon from Looney Tunes?" I inquire, faltering and cheesing at him. 

He grins right back, "I sure did."

He takes another drag and puffs out smoke above us. 

"Well, thank you. Not only for ranking me at the same level as a cartoon character but for the talk. You're the best." I lean up against him, resting my head against his shoulder.

"Pft, no problem, T, I'm always here for you." He whispers, wrapping an arm around me and humming lightly.

The two of us sit out on the front porch steps for a good hour, watching the clouds and cars pass by. Steele goes through two more cigarettes before I ride him about how smoking kills. About how I would probably go insane without him here with us. He simply shrugged my words off in the most subtle way, an empty promise to try and lay off them falling past his lips.

When night hit, I texted Allie a goodnight text, telling her I loved and appreciated her before turning off my lights. She responded asking if I was okay, which only made me scoff and reply that I can appreciate her without being mentally unstable. We sent a few smiley pictures back and forth before she retired to bed. 'Goodnight angel xx' I sent before running outside real quick to snap a picture of the star-lit sky. I sat on the porch as I posted the picture to Twitter and Instagram, captioning the gorgeous picture of the moon and stars as 'goodnight moon 🌙'. My boys I've completely ignored for the past few days spam me with 'babe!', 'night princess 😚', and 'missed u,' making me smile a bit before heading back inside. I expected a certain someone to show up not soon after I got back into bed, but was taken back a bit when no one came. No light flicker, no warm body pressed against mine, no goodnight kiss.
Nothing.

-

a/n: i think i wanna change the title of this story but i have no ideas, if you got any i'm open-minded to about anything. i'm just not titling this something like 'the demon of christmas who spanked troye sivan's ass' lmao

ilu, goodnight