Saved by the Bad Boy

Chapter 9

The next day I wake up in the bed even though I slept on the floor and Einar is on the ground. I feel a strange feeling, and start to wonder why he's being so nice. I sigh and hurry to get dressed. He spends most of the day outside on the beach and walking on the sand. I watch him kick rocks and can tell he's deep in thought. Maybe this will be good for us to clear our minds. But I don't know how we're ever going to get used to each other. I don't even know if I can keep this up anymore. All I want right now is to be home, with loving arms around me, with my brother and my parents being there. I want our family dinners where we joke around. I want to have a normal life where I can go to school and see Kelly and Nic. Where I can eventually find that one person that can make me smile, that can make me feel happy. I want what everyone seems to have except for me, what did I do to deserve this? Why is fate putting me in this hell? Why? And what did I do to make Einar hate me so much? I don't understand. Why did he even save me? What's the point in living? Everyone kills each other over little things like money and power. Fame and popularity are normal and a competition that everyone wants to be first in. But what's the point in it? Why do people enjoy this world? Where people are dying at the hand of their own, where everyone tears everyone around them down, so they can feel higher, what's the point? Why are we here? I don't want to be here anymore, they can kill me before I go back. My parents aren't going to see me again either way. It's not like anyone would care. But I'm so tired of fighting them. I'm too tired to fight against them. And they'd lock me up before they'd kill me, but sometimes you have to do things yourself. I let out a sob and fall to my knees, I'm too tired to deal with this, I'm done, finished, exhausted. It's not worth it anymore. I want to cry, I want to sleep and never wake up, I want to leave, I want to leave this horrible world, I want to die. I sob harder and drag my nails on the hardwood floor. I feel my powers grow under my fingertips and the air becomes fridged cold. I feel ice grow under me and my tears turn to ice. I let out a small scream, unable to stop the pain and I open my palm. I've covered the room in a thick sheet of ice. Angry stripes make it look like an explosion of ice happened from me and I guess it kind of did. The air is colder than what most people can probably handle in normal clothes and the room is dark. And finally I let ice form in my hand a sharp knife, and I slowly lower it to my chest. 

"Cali!" I turn to see Einar in the doorway. 

"I'm sorry. I know I'm weak, I'm sorry, but I can't do this anymore. I don't want to ruin your life anymore so just let me." I start to lower the knife again. He runs to my side and sits next to me. He looks at me heartbroken, "Please." I plead.

"Cali, you are not weak, only broken, but you can be fixed and this isn't how to do it. Don't do this to yourself, you are so beautiful. There are so many people who love you. You don't need to apologize for feeling like this. You shouldn't have to because we're all imperfect. And that's why people love because they realize they're imperfect and love each other anyway. Be stronger than your demons, do it for your family, do it for me, do it for you. You can do this. Don't. I can't..." He looks down for a moment before looking back at me with such fierceness that I can't explain it. "I can't make it without you. All those killers I can't take them, they kill all these beautiful things. I hate it, I hate the monster they made me. But I'll follow you soon after if you do this. I've heard you, I've heard you crying in the shower, even when you try to stay quiet, and I know you cry at night. I know, and I understand. I know you think I hate you, I did, I thought I did, but your fighting and rebellious spirit, your kindness, it helps me. And I know you think you ruined everyone's life, you didn't stop to think that it was me. It was my fault. And I paid dearly for it..." He puts his head down, unable to keep talking.

"Please, tell me, what did you do?"

"It wasn't me." He's crying now. He turns around and slowly takes off his shirt to reveal scars, old cuts, scabs, and new ones. I gasp.

"Your dad...?" I whisper, not wanting to believe it but he nods weakly. Some are deep and I carefully place a hand on his back, feeling them. He tenses and whimpers out in pain. I crawl around to face him.

"I'm so sorry, I had no idea. This is my fault. You mean every time I was...?" He nods and my heart is ripped apart. I cry, "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, I wish I knew." He lifts my chin.

"He's been doing it long before you came." I throw my arms around his neck and hug him tightly. I bury my face in his neck and he wraps his arms around my waist. I cry into his shoulder.

"Please don't let me go," I whisper. 

"I won't. Never." He whispers back and I feel the temperature rising in the room as my heart warms with his love. He runs his fingers down my back, comforting me. He kisses my neck, trailing kisses to my check, releasing me a little and he leans back so we're face to face. He leans in but I pull away, looking down. 

"Sorry, I, um, I can't, I just..." I gulp and he nods and I stand up, "I think I need a shower." And I go into the bathroom. From the bathroom I see him flop on the bed and give an exasperated sigh. I step out of his view and undress and turn on the shower. I stand in the running water, thinking about what just happened. He doesn't hate me, then why did I pull away? I really don't know, I was just so scared that maybe it was a mistake. I don't really want him to love me, look at what I did to him.