I Can't Breathe

Ch 1

          Alexandria Bourroway. That's me. My name is Alex Bourroway and I am 18 years old. I am in my last semester of high school and am going to university in the fall. My grades are good. I just got my drivers license a week ago and I have three best friends: Jordanna Blythe, Hanna Zeal and Morgan Crandall. I am a normal person other than I struggle with Idiopathic Pulmonary Fibrosis. (IPF for short) and can't breathe half the time. I like to say I struggle with it because a lot of people say I have it. I don't have  IPF and it sure as hell doesn't have me. I am here to fight this and win. I will win.

           You're all probably wondering about my "tragic past" and "everything I've had to give up". Sorry sister (or brother, I'm not sexist) you've come to the wrong place. I had asthma when I was six and when I was nine it got very bad. That's when I was diagnosed with IPF. That's it. I mean yes I seem to get hospitalized at least once a month but other than almost dying a couple of times, there's nothing tragic about me. Yes I had to stop swimming and that was hard and after nine years, it's still hard but it's okay. I'm used to it.  

        I was 10 years old. It was November 29th and we went sledding. I went down the hair with my older brother and we fell off the sled. My brother got up but I couldn't. I couldn't breathe. That was the first time I was hospitalized. It's happened 12 other times, 5 of which have almost killed me. I don't try to count them but it's hard not to. I have 4 different machines to help me breathe. A C-Pap, a BiPap, a Respirator and an Oxygen Concentrator. All of which I've had for 6 years today. Today is my monthly checkup for September and after there is a pep rally at the football fields. Of course it's hard to get there, my mom thinks I am unable to drive and I have to lug around at least 1 machine but it's worth all arguing and the luging because there I can feel normal. Well normal to a degree. Jordanna, Morgan and Hanna help a lot. They're always there so I don't feel alone. It's fun, to go do normal 18 year old thing. We go swimming (and yes I have a machine for that too) in the lake a lot in the summer, and we go camping and skating and we go shopping in the next town over and I feel normal. That's the best part feeling normal. If I can feel normal, I can be normal. 

"Mom..."