My name is Alex Bourroway and I struggle with Idiopathic pulmonary fibrosis. It's a lung disease and I can't breathe. At the moment there is no cure, only treatments. It does not define me.
I will update whenever I can, just like my other books...
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It fades from complete darkness and silence to a white ceiling and a pale yellow room. I can hear someone talking and just barely make out six blurry shapes. I close my eyes again and can still hear him talking but not quite well enough to make out words. There is something covering my nose and mouth , I can feel it sitting there. I take a deep breath. I wiggle my fingers and then open my eyes for a second look. This time the shapes aren't so blurry and I can kind of hear different voices.
A deep manly voice is talking, I just catch his last sentence, "Looking at that, she's lucky to even still be alive." He says
"I... How... Holy crap" It's Morgan. I have to close my eyes. It's tiering to keep them open. I'm so tired.
I hear the next voice. Warm and familiar. It belongs to Cole. He leans in close and whispers "Come on Alex, please live." He grabs my hand, digging something into the top of it. A butterfly needle. An IV needle. I'm in the hospital... Again. I open my eyes. Everyone else's turn and stare at me. Cole looks astonished. Everyone else has worry stuck to their face. The shapes are much more clear now. I can see exactly who's in the room with me. Morgan, Jordanna, Hanna, Declen, Cole and Dr. Rowney.
"What happned?" I try and say, but it comes out scratchy and inaudible.
"Oh Alex" wails Jordanna. She jumps onto the bed and gives me a not so gental hug. She more or less throws herself on top of me. I moan. My lungs can't take much more of this "hug". I tell myself.
"Oh baby!" my mom cries, as she throws herself through the door. My dad is following behind her, looking extremely worried.
"Mom, I'm fine." I say, although it comes out very scratchy, I can tell she hears, or at least understands what I said. Her eyes widen and fill with tears.
"You most certainly are not," she says anger and pain filling her voice.
"Karen, sweetheart, take a deep breath, Alex has been through a lot today, can we talk about this tomorrow? Please?" asks my dad, he's really trying to calm her down and it's working.
"Okay. Yes. Okay." My mother mumbles.
"Umm, Mr and Mrs Bourroway," said Dr Rowney, "Alex needs some rest, so is everyone could go out for a bit, maybe have one person from the immediate family stay," he continued
"Oh... Yes, I suppose so," said my dad, rather hesitantly
"Okay, girls, your parents are here anyways so.." Morgan cut my dad off.
"We aren't leaving, Mr Bourroway, I'm sorry but I will wait in the lobby for days if I have to, We are not leaving Alex until she can leave too!" Morgan exclaimed
"Morgan, if you would let me finish, girls your parents are here with some extra clothes, and other things of yours, they said you can stay the night on a cot here, with Alex."
"Oh..." Said Morgan apologetically, "Sorry."
"We'll be right back okay" said Hanna desperately as they went out the door. Dr Rowney followed behind them and so did my dad.
"Cole, you can go if you'd like" said my mom
"No, I need to stay here, for a bit longer at least. Please?" He asked quietly
"I... Uh... Okay, until your father gets back, then we'll talk. I'll be right modem the hall with the other parents." She said calmly and she got off the bed and left, closing the door behind her. It was just Cole and I now. We sat there for a few minutes, in an uncomfortable silence that seemed to go on forever. Then finally he asked,
"Are you okay?"
"Well I am alive aren't I?" I replied sarcastically
"Not like that, are you okay?" He repeated with more emphasis on the you.
"Honestly, " I ask, he nods so I continue, "no, I am just so tired of all this." I say, gesturing to the hospital room. " I guess I'm tired of fighting," I admit
"Oh..." He says sheepishly. His eyes dart back and forth between the door and me.
"You don't have to act like I asked for this, I am just not in the mood for another hospitalizatioion." I say.
"No, I know that, I just... It's... You're my baby sister, Alex, I just.. Don't want to lose you." He mumbles
"Anyways," I say, changing tge subject, "Did you guys win the game?"
"No, you were there, remember." Cole says
"God, I'm so tired." I tell him
"Go to sleep then, it is like 1 am." He replies, and I fall into a deep sleep.
