First Steps

Chapter 6

I woke up on a ledge behind the green room, with Mahogany right next to me. "Sandra what happened?" "I uh blacked out." I reminded myself of what happened and I started to tear. "Why what happened?!" I closed my eyes and leaned my elbows on my knees and put my hands on my face and broke down. I couldnt stop crying. "Sh- Shawn and I got in a fight, and we broke up." She looked so shocked and sad, and hugged me. "Why what happened?" I relaxed a little to tell her. "I walked in on him making out with Victoria and I screamed at him and I couldn't take it anymore and I broke up with him." I started crying again, I couldn't hold it in. "He didn't even run back for me, he always did." "Wow, I could never believe that he would do that." Mahogany said. I heard Matt Aaron Nash and cam. I didn't even care about how I looked, I didn't care about anything at this point. "Sandra!" Cam said running towards me to give me a hug. then the other guys ran after him and all hugged me. "We all yelled talked to Shawn, and he's really really upset. He uh ran out, we don't know where." said Aaron. "Ha probably with Victoria." I said while sniffling my nose. "Why would he do that it's not him?" said Nash. "I know why, because he's a fucking asshole that I fell in love with and he does this to me." I got so angry, I wasn't sad anymore. I stopped crying and wiped off the tears on my face. I really just wanted to be at home in bed right now. "Should we go out to dinner tonight or?" Said Matt. "Yes I'm fine I can go, it's just that I don't wanna stay in my room anymore." "You can stay with me." said Mahogany. "Perfect. Thanks" "I'll get your stuff from the room." said Cam. "Thanks guys, your making this so much easier." We all went upstairs and I went into mahoganys room and sat on my phone until I heard something. I looked at Mahogany and she ran to open the door. I heard Cameron yelling. I ran to the door and saw that Shawn was there, so angry cursing at Cameron. Cameron had my stuff and all the other guys came out into the hallway. Are you kidding me right now. I had enough. "Seriously? Stop fighting!" I yelled at them intentionally towards Shawn. I hadn't seen him actually since our fight. His face was red and his eyes looked swollen like he'd been crying. I quickly turned my head to cam and grabbed my stuff. "Go cam." He listened to me and walked away. "I can't stay with you anymore." I said to Shawn. "I know I wouldn't wanna stay with a douchebag either." he said. I walked back to my room. I was so aggravated and so upset. I had never seen this side of Shawn, and I didn't want to see it again. I put down my stuff on my new bed. "This is so crazy. Are you okay?" said Mahogany. "No, but I have to be, I don't wanna ruin Magcon for everyone." I said while looking for an outfit to wear to dinner. I wore a tight black dress and pink heels. They were Mahoganys actually, she let me borrow them. I did my hair and makeup for the night and we both were ready. We came outside to the hallway and Shawn and Aaron were standing there talking. Shawn looked at me and I rolled my eyes at him. Aaron came up to us, "Hey do you guys wanna wait downstairs, the other guys are gonna be ready in 2 minutes." Mahogany and I looked at each other and she said "Sure." Aaron and Mahogany walked in the front and then me and Shawn was in the back. "Sandra." I didn't turn around. "Sandra please." Hearing his voice made my heart break. I didn't want to talk to him, I didn't want to turn around because I made me seem weak. I was too busy thinking about Shawn and not thinking about my killer pink heels I was wearing and not to trip in them. But, of course I did and lose my balance. Shawn grabbed me from falling and I retained my balance and stood up straight again. I looked at Shawn and he still had that guilty face on. I gave him a blank look and continued to walk.

The entire time while we were eating dinner, I could not stop thinking about Shawn. He sat across from me, 2 seats down. If I wasn't looking at me, then he was. I sat next to Cameron and Matt and I tired to act happy. But I really wasn't and I've had the day to think about all of this and I'm ready to talk to him without screaming in his face. We hung out in the restaurant for a while when we finished eating, but I went outside by myself. I sat down on a bench in front of the restaurant and just sat there. I knew Shawn would come looking for me and he did. I turned my head and he was standing there, awkwardly and shamed. "Come sit." I said. He took a deep breath and sat down right next to me. There was a silence for about 2 minutes. We were both just staring at the street, watching the cars pass by. "Only you have my heart. I'm completely broken." He said, still staring straight at the street. "Are you sure?" I said. He turned his head to look at me. "Yes, I think I just got carried away, and I'm the biggest asshole ever." I shrugged and looked away. "Here, read this." I said, and handed me his phone. I looked at it and it was an unsaved number. It was Victoria.

Shawn: Honestly, you tricked me, you ruined my life and my relationship, she doesn't even want to see me anymore. I'm the biggest douchebag for even being seen with you again. Please, just forget about me and stay away from me and Sandra.

She just read it, but never replied. I guess that's a good sign right? I gave his phone back to him without saying anything. He looked at me waiting for me to say something. "I definitly am in love with you Shawn, I can't see myself without you. I don't want to waste our memories, because their my favorite. But, I'm mad at you." "I know. I can't tell you how sorry I am." "Okay, well I just need a break for now." I saw a painful look in his eyes. He nodded. "Sorry, but I have too much to handle right now." I stood up. "Okay, I understand." He also stood up and smiled at me. His smiles made me so weak. I looked away and went back into the restaurant with Shawn behind me. He sat back down and everyone looked at us. Jack J made a face at me. It was like an are you guys back together face. I nodded no to him and he looked sad. "Should we go now?" said Taylor. "Yeah guys, let's go." said Mahogany. We all went back to our hotel room and I went into mine with Mahogany. "So what's going on with you guys?" she asked me. "Well, I he told me the story and he texted Victoria that he basically never wants to see her again, I don't wanna just forget about him cause I love him but, I told him that I just needed a break, so for now we're not a couple anymore." "Aw, I'm still in shock though, he just doesn't seem like himself." "I know, I never though he would do this." We changed into regular clothes and went into Matt and Carter's room. "Can we go somewhere? What does this hotel have?" said Carter. "We could go to the arcade." said Matt. "Ight, is anyone else coming?" Carter said. "Yeah, I'll get the Jacks." I said. We all came out the the room and I knocked on the Jacks' hotel room. Jack G opened the door. "Wanna come with us down to the arcade? We're bored." "Sure Sandy, lemme get Jack." So then we all went down to the arcade and it was empty thankfully. Everybody asked me what was going on with Shawn and I, and I told everybody the same thing. I didn't want to talk about it, but they were my close friends and they deserved to know. I played guitar hero a couple times with Jack J, and I had the funnest time. Then we just hung out and sat on the couches in there and talked about everything. "So Sandra, you're doing the meet and greet tomorrow right?" Carter asked me. "Haha, yeah my fans always put me in a better mood." I said and smiled at him. After about an hour, we all went back to our hotel rooms. I changed into my pajamas, got my guitar and sat on my bed. I was making a new song up, all made up from feelings from today. I tried not to think about All of Me, or any song that made me think of Shawn cause if I did, I would break down. I put my guitar down on the floor and went to bed.

I woke up crying because of a nightmare I had. Everyone was walking across a street to go to the beach. Shawn was in front, and all I saw was him getting hit by a car. I screamed "Shawn no!" I ran over to him. His eyes were closed and he wasn't breathing. I was terrorized and I started crying. "Someone call 911!" I screamed. Cameron and Matt ran over and Jack G called 911. "Please, please, please wake up." I whispered into Shawn's hand. And I woke up, it took me a couple of seconds for me to realize that it was a nightmare, and it wasn't real. I was still crying and in shock. I looked at the clock on my nightstand and it was 3:34 am. I couldn't take it anymore, I needed him. 

I got out of bed and went into Shawn's room. I still had my old room key, and I got in. I walked in the room and I saw Shawn sleeping peacefully on the bed. I walked around the bed to the other side and crawled inside. Shawn woke up. "Shawn I need you." I said while sniffling my nose. He wrapped his arms around me and was kissing my head. I knew I seemed weak, but I just really needed him. He was my joy.