our place (connor x evan)

school shooter shiek

Connors pov

We walk up the door steps of this Jared kid's house. Evan knocks and a lady who appears to be in her early thirties opens the door. She puts on a smile when she sees evan. 
"Why, Evan. " She greets.  "It's been a while. " Evan can't help but smile at her soft words.
"It really has been. Is um, is Jared home?" Evan stutters.
"Yeah, he's up in his room. You know the way. " She steps out of the way and evan leads me up the stairs.  He stops at one of the doors and knocks.

The door opens to reveal a boy with short brown hair and glasses. He's pale and slightly pudgy, and is shorter than evan by a couple inches.
"Oh. It's you." He sighs at evan, before looking at me.
"Wait, why are you hanging out with the new basket case?" Jared sneers.  I just look at him with dull, unamused eyes.
"This is Connor. He's my friend. So um... you don't have to pretend to like me anymore." Evan explained. 
"Okay so hold up.  You're friends with a guy who looks like he'd shoot up a school? " Jared smirks. "What's up, stoner-boy? Do you just not talk?"

"Oh. No, I talk. But, unlike you, I know when to keep my mouth shut." I keep my voice calm, even though his words are getting to me.  I turn and look at Evan.  "I think I'm going to go home. Maybe you can give me that tour tomorrow." And with that I walk out of the house and head home.
When I get there I go up to my room and lock the door. "Goddamit..." I sigh. 
I sit on my bed and untie my combat boots. I kick them under the bed and I grab my note book.

I tried to get out there and make friends today, and what happens?  Before I even open my fucking mouth I'm already being insulted. I swear I'm just getting sick of being alive.

I close the book and throw it into the waste bin. I might recover it later. Maybe not.
After a few minutes, there's a soft knock on my door.
"Connor?" Evan speaks through the door.
"Go home evan." I sigh.
"But-"
"Evan, go home." I say a bit louder. He sighs and I hear him walk away.  I take off my hoodie and change into grey sweats. I sit on my bed and pull my hair out of the bun.

Tonight might be the night.

No...

Tonight is definitely the night.

I get up and walk to the closet, looking through for what I need. I dig through my stuff until I find the stainless steel pocket knife.

T.w. blood/ self harm/ suicide attempt

I sit on my bed and drag the blade vertically down my inner forearm.
The blood pools up a lot faster than I thought it would. But I need to go deeper if I want results. I take the knife in my other hand and put more pressure onto the knife, burying it deeper in my wrist and dragging down my arm. I clench my teeth as not to yell in pain. It has to be done.

I feel myself getting light headed and decide to get up and unlock the door. Someone needs to find me eventually. I go back to my bed, barley making it before I pass out.

Evan's pov

I am sitting in the downstairs of the Murphy house with Cynthia when we hear a thud upstairs. 
"Hon, I think that was Connor's room. Could you go and check on him?" She asks me. I nod, too nervous to tell her that I had tried before, and the door was locked. I go up the stairs and get to Connor's room.

I knock.

Nothing.

"Connor? Its me again."

Nothing.

I open the door.