The Sound of Ice

13

I like Sam's taste in music. He plugs in his phone and soft, acoustic songs crackle out of the old speakers. Outside, yellow streetlights reflect off my dirty car windows.

Things have gone back to normal with him. The past week or so, I've been dropping him off at school on my way to pick up Ethan for practice. He's the leader of a new astronomy club or something, who knows. 

Sam pulls the sleeves of his sweatshirt over his hands and looks out the window. Short mounds of muddy snow line the streets, and wet snowflakes drip on my window. I glance at Sam as a new song begins, his cheeks flushed from the cold.

"What song is this?" I ask.

"I don't know. Why?"

"I like it."

"I like it too."

Sam's view falls on the speakers. The song is kind of sad, but I like it. I really do. Why do people like things that make them sad?

Sam shivers and turns to the window. "Look!" he says. "Look at their Christmas lights."

I squint out the window as we drive past a house, strung up with blinding, colorful lights. "It's only November," I say. "Isn't that kind of early?"

"Maybe," Sam says. "My uncle and I don't decorate the house, usually."

"Really? Hailey would hate us if we didn't decorate."

"I'm not surprised."

"When we do decorate, you should come over."

"Yeah, maybe I will."

"Yeah, maybe you will."

My eyes are on the road, but I know he's smiling. I'm smiling too. 

I drop Sam off at school and head to pick up Ethan. Ethan jumps in the car, immediately cranking up the 80s station, and shivers dramatically. 

"Jesus, it's cold," Ethan says, rubbing his hands. "Oh, and can you send me your English notes from today?"

"Why? You were in class."

"Dude, you know I don't pay attention to Mr. Larner."

"Yeah, fine. Text me later and remind me."

"You're the best."

"I know."

Ethan yawns loudly and hums along to the song, and I glance sideways at him. On the days where I have Sam in the car before him, it feels weird when he gets in. I don't know. I think I'm just crazy.

~

It's a good practice day. We scrimmage and I continuously sink pucks in. That moment when your wrist snaps and the puck is flying through the air, and you hear the blood rushing in your ear and feel the sweat dripping down your jersey and the exhaustion in your bones, and the chaos of the rink around you slows to a hum, and the way you know the puck is going to go in... that's a good feeling. One of the best.

Ollie Johnson slaps my helmet as we take a water break. "Nice work today, Beckett."

"Thanks," I say, chewing on my mouthguard. Adrenaline is still racing through my veins. Who needs a water break? "You too."

Ollie shrugs modestly. "Anyway. Excited for the game tomorrow?"

"Of course." It's a home game against the Otters, one of our biggest rivals. I bet the arena will be almost packed. "You?"

Ollie grins. "I'm ready to crush them."

"'Atta boy," I say, laughing. I'm ready to crush them too, though. Playing against the Otters, especially at home, is one of the most fun games of the regular season. At least, if we win.

Coach blows his whistle and we toss out water bottles back on the bench. "Let's go," Ollie says. So we do. I can't help but notice Matthew is glaring at me the entire time.

~

When I step through the front door and dump my hockey bag on the ground, I hear someone crying in the kitchen.

Hailey immediately runs up to me and tugs my hand. She has a beaded headband on that's definitely Veronica's, and she's wearing her favorite fluffy socks. "Veronica's sad," she says in a loud whisper.

"Why?"

"Paul broke up with her."

"Oh, man."

"Can I tell you something?"

"Sure."

She beckons me down to her level, so I bend over and she whispers in my ear, "I never liked Paul anyway."

"Hailey!" I stand up. 

"What? It's true!"

"Okay, but don't say that to Veronica."

"I won't!"

I toss my coat on the coat rack and head to the kitchen. Veronica is crying at the table, an untouched bowl of cereal in front of her and her phone in her hand. 

"Hey," I say slowly. "Are you doing okay?"

Veronica rubs at her red eyes, her mascara smudging. Her hair is pulled back in a messy ponytail. "Paul broke up with me," she says. "Over text."

I could honestly beat the shit out of Paul right now. "He's an asshole," I say. "Do you want me to beat the shit out of him?"

"Okay," says Veronica. "Actually, no, don't do that." She sniffs loudly, her bottom lip trembling, then collapses into another round of sobs. "I thought he was better than that!" 

"I know. What do you want me to do? Is Mom home?"

"No, she's working late." Veronica takes a deep breath and glances at me, her big eyes shimmering with tears. "I'm hungry. And I don't want cereal. Can we go to AJ's?"

I look at the clock on the oven. It's almost ten at night. "Right now?"

"Yeah."

Mom will probably kill me. Actually, she'll definitely kill me. "Okay. Let's go. Hailey, put your coat on." 

AJ's Diner, only a couple blocks away, has the best hamburgers in the entire universe. My dad would bring Veronica and I all the time when we were younger. Just stepping inside makes you happier.

The wind outside is biting cold, but we walk fast. As we turn the corner, the flashing OPEN sign hanging on the window greets us. Hailey runs to the front door, her boots crunch loudly on the ice, and Veronica and I follow quickly.

The place is small, with only a few tables. Black and white checkered tiles line the floor, and the red fabric of the booths are old and teared. The smell of fries hangs permanently in the air, and the bright fluorescent lighting hums quietly. 

We take a seat at our booth and Veronica takes a shuddered breath. There's only one other couple here.

"I hate Paul," she says, dabbing at her eyes and blinking quickly. "You know? Like, such a jerk."

"Such a jerk," repeats Hailey, swinging her legs. "Cameron, can I get a milkshake?"

"He said things just 'weren't working out'," continues Veronica, quoting with air fingers. "Like, say it to my face. Anyone that breaks up over text is the worst."

"The worst," says Hailey. 

"He was just so sweet too though, I don't understand!" Veronica puts her hands against her flushed cheeks. "I really liked him. But I hate him!"

"I know," I say. I don't really know how to respond to this. I've never been in a real relationship, to be honest. "He doesn't deserve you."

"I guess." Veronica sniffs as AJ sets down our usual tray with three juicy hamburgers and crispy fries.  

The conversation ceases as we all dig in. God, these hamburgers really are the best in the universe. If these can't make you feel better, I don't know what can. 

Veronica licks ketchup off her finger and smiles softly at me. "Thank you," she mouths.

I didn't really do much. But I do love my sisters. And I would beat the shit out of Paul.