The Sound of Ice

15

Sam comes over a lot. It still hurts to walk around, so I just stay in bed or on the couch with my foot raised, and he sits beside me.

He's been bringing over movies and books and stuff. Not that I like books that much, but I've tried one or two, and they're okay. I told him no War and Peace and he laughed. 

Today, he brought over a black and white movie.

"I'm sorry, but old movies are boring," I say, shifting to get comfortable on the itchy couch. I wince as I accidentally flex my ankle. "They last forever."

"They're not boring," says Sam, already sliding the tape into the old VCR. Outside, the wind is howling and snow is slamming against the window. We had another snow day today. I'm glad the fireplace is on.

"What's not boring?" asks Hailey, running from her room with her stuffed giraffe in hand. "What are you watching?"

"A classic," says Sam. "Want to watch?"

"Okay." She sits between Sam and I and pats my hand. I know she feels bad. Sam told me she freaked out when I fell on the ice. "Does your ankle still hurt?"

"Yeah," I say. "It only happened a couple days ago."

"Ouch," says Hailey. 

"Yeah, ouch."

Hailey tucks her hair behind her ears and twists around. "Hey, Mum?"

Mom is stirring a pot of soup on the stove. I can smell the spices from here. "Yeah?"

"I'm watching a classic movie."

"Good for you, honey."

"Thank you." Hailey turns back around and beams at Sam. She sets her giraffe on her lap and wraps her arms around it as Sam presses play.

I stifle a sigh and blink quickly, trying to wake myself up as the movie starts. We went to the doctors yesterday, and it's officially sprained. At least three weeks before I can play again, and that's if I'm lucky and it heals fast. Sitting around the house is hard. And I just feel so mad all the time. I'm not trying to be.

The opening credits roll dramatically, and then the movie begins, something about Morocco. I glance sideways at Sam and Hailey, who are watching the fuzzy screen with rapt attention. Sam is wearing his green sweatshirt. I think it's his favorite. He wears it all the time. 

After half an hour, Hailey goes back to her bedroom, claiming she needs to sleep. I don't blame her. I feel myself drifting off too.

Sam looks at me. "Are you falling asleep?"

"No."

He smiles. "It's okay. We can pause it."

"No!" 

His eyes freeze on me, big and blue. 

"I don't want to pause it, I want to finish it!" I don't know why I sound so angry.

"Okay," says Sam slowly. "Do you want to... talk?"

"No," I snap. I'm glad Mom's not in the kitchen anymore, or she would beat my ass. "I want to play hockey, okay, Sam? But I can't do that right now. So I have to finish this movie. Okay?"

"Okay," says Sam. The only sound is the wind banging against the windowpanes, and I bit my lip. "I can go home, if -"

"No."

"Okay."

He looks at me for another second, twisting his mouth, then hits play on the remote. I feel horrible. But I also feel trapped in this house. 

~

After the movie ends, we go to my room as we wait for dinner to be ready. I have to hobble over on those goddamn crutches.

"So, did you like it?" says Sam, sitting on the ground and leaning against the dresser.

"It was okay," I say, trying not to wince as I sit on my bed and press an ice pack against my ankle. Actually, I did like it. More than I thought I would. 

Sam pulls out a comic from the box and flips through it mindlessly. "I haven't read this one before," he says lightly. "You know, your collection is probably worth a bit -"

"I'm sorry."

He looks up. "It's okay," he says. 

"It's just that everything's riding on this season." I rub my forehead. "And I'm not playing in it."

"I know," says Sam. "You'll play again. The maximum out time for a sprained ankle is what, two months?"

"That's after Worlds Juniors."

"I know, but -"

"Everyone is watching me, Sam! The NHL is watching me!"

His eyes turn sad, and I blink away. I hate that. I hate when he gets sad. 

"You'll play again," he says softly.

"I know." I sigh and crack my knuckles, the radiator humming against the wall, and Sam runs a hand over the cover of the comic book. The silence hurts.

Finally, Sam clears his throat and smiles. "So, have you read War and Peace yet?"

"Shut up." But I smile, too. 

~

During dinner, the conversation is focused on Hailey's upcoming birthday. 

"So, what are you asking for, Hailey?" asks Sam, glancing at me briefly. I can tell he's trying to keep things lighthearted. 

Hailey swings her legs, scattering cracker crumbs in her bowl of soup. "I want a horse."

"You're not getting a horse," says Mom, blowing on her steaming spoon.

Hailey sighs dramatically. "Okay, then I want a cat."

"Wouldn't you rather have a dog?" asks Veronica. "You can't play fetch with a cat."

"No, I want a cat."

I smile. "I like cats, Hailey."

"Thank you, Cameron." She sighs and turns back to Sam. "Anyway, I also want the Barbie Fabulous Summer Dreamhouse. It comes with a pool and furniture. Not the car, though. You have to buy the Fabulous Summer Car separately. It's pink."

 "That sounds fun," says Sam.

"It is. I also want a cell phone."

"You are not getting a phone," says Mom. 

"Okay, then I want a bike."

Mom takes a bite of her soup and raises her eyebrows. 

"A green one." Hailey smiles. 

~

The sprained ankle makes falling asleep hard. I stay up nearly half the night, trying to get comfortable with one leg under the comforter and one leg resting on pillows. The wind howls against the thin walls and I squeeze my eyes shut. Sometimes, sleep doesn't come when you want it to.

My phone vibrates and I twist over, grabbing it from the nightstand. The blue light illuminates my small room, shadows curling on the walls. It's from Ethan.

how's the ankle? just wondering if you were still able to drive me to practice, i forgot which foot you sprained. see you at school if the storm stops

I start to text back, then delete my message and set my phone down. No, it's my right foot, so I can't drive. I just don't feel like talking. Even if it's words on a screen.

I sigh, blinking up at the Maple Leafs poster on the ceiling, as the wind howls and howls and howls.