The Sound of Ice

40

I take Hailey and Veronica out to a celebratory dinner at AJ's. Not that we're celebrating anything specific. Veronica and I won't be eighteen for another few months, and even though graduation isn't too far off, it isn't anytime soon.

Still, though. The ice has finally all melted, and everything outside smells fresh and clean and everyone seems happier. Besides, can't I just take my sisters out to dinner without a reason?

Veronica eats all of the fried pickles and Hailey eats all of the French fries. The calming buzz of the restaurant hums around us, silverware clanking, bells chiming, and people chatting. 

"I love French fries," says Hailey, dipping one in ketchup. "I wish I could eat French fries every day. I would eat them for breakfast."

"That might not be too healthy," says Veronica. She taps her blue fingernails on the table, her warm eyes wandering the shop. Her gaze finally lands on me. "Want a fried pickle, Cameron?"

"Sure," I say, even though for some reason, I'm not that hungry.

Hailey leans against my shoulder, her blonde hair spilling out of a messy ponytail. Her words are sleepy. "Cameron, are you gonna marry Sam?"

I frown. "Hailey! What? I'm seventeen."

"So?"

"People don't get married when they're seventeen."

Veronica nods in agreement and pops another fried pickle in her mouth.

"You can get married whenever you want, Cameron," says Hailey. "I give you permission."

"Alright. Thanks, Hailey." I roll my eyes and Veronica smiles from across the table. 

Marriage. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Marrying Sam... seventeen year old guys don't think about that stuff.

I crunch on a fried pickle and breathe in the scent of hamburgers and chocolate, crack my knuckles on the table and smile tiredly at my twin sister. 

"How's math going?" she asks. "Have you failed the class yet?"

"Nope. I'm a star student."

"Why don't I believe you?"

Hailey sits up straight. "I'm a star student."

I love my sisters. Shit, I love my sisters. I eat another fried pickle.

"Yeah, you're a star student, Hailey."

~

That night I watch an old movie on the couch. Hailey falls asleep beside me, and Mom is sitting at the kitchen table reading a book.

There's a knock at the door that pulls me out of my half-asleep state. Mom squints towards the window.

"Must be Sam," she says. "It's past ten o'clock, wouldn't be anyone else."

"I'll get it," I say groggily, rubbing my face and heading to the front door. 

It's Sam. He's not wearing a sweatshirt like usual. Just a t-shirt. That's weird. 

"Sam? What's wrong?"

"Why would something be wrong?"

"You're not - nevermind. You want to come inside?"

He steps inside, his light hair seeming to change colors under the warm, dim glow of the lamp. "Hi, Ms. Beckett," he says, smiling softly.

"Hello, Sam!" says Mom, glancing up from her book. She stares at him for a second. "Everything alright?"

"Yeah, everything's good."

Hailey stirs and sits up on the sofa, her hair sticking up wildly. "Sam," she says tiredly. "Hi."

"Hi, Hailey. What are you watching?"

"I don't know, some stupid, boring old film Cameron put on." Alright, I'm gonna let that one go. She's always mad when she's tired.

"Oh no," says Sam, smiling. He sits on the edge of the couch. "You should go to bed soon."

"Yeah," Hailey mumbles. "Maybe. Except Veronica is talking on the phone to someone in our bedroom and she kicked me out."

Sam leans in and whispers something in her ear, and her face lights up. She laughs. And right then in that moment in the living room, darkness spilling in through the windows, lamps and warm lights throwing yellow shadows around, the television murmuring in the background, he's perfect. He's perfect.

We go to my room. He sits on my bed and leafs through a Spiderman comic. 

"Spiderman used to be your favorite," he says more to himself, running a hand over the worn pages, and then he looks up and his eyes are wet. 

"Sam? What's wrong?" I sit next to him, gently pull the comic out of his hands. "Why are you crying?"

"Cameron?"

"Yeah?"

His blue eyes shine. "I got a scholarship to Harvard."

"What? For what?"

"Four. Four years"

"I - I didn't realize you applied."

"I did awhile ago. I never thought that..." He bites his lip.

"Sam." I shake my head in disbelief. "That's amazing. That's incredible. Sam! Why are you sad?"

A tear runs down his cheek and he wipes it away. "I have to turn it down."

"Sam. Sam. Don't say that."

"I can't take it Cameron, I'm telling you. I can't! I can't."

Harvard. Harvard. Sam is so smart. Sam is so, so smart. Sam wants to work at NASA. Sam has an uncle with cancer.

"I don't want to talk about it," Sam says. 

"Alright," I say. "Alright, Sam."

I hold him in my arms and tears leak out of his eyes. 

You know, things are happening way too fast. Life is happening way too fast. So I just hold Sam. I hold him. And he is perfect. 

A/N I'm sorry it's been forever since I updated! I'm also half-asleep right now so this chapter is probably not top notch lol! what do you think Sam should do? we're nearing the end folks