Running From Death

Part 13:

Knock knock. My sore eyes shift to my doorway and see my mother standing awkwardly. Her eyes are swollen and red, most likely a mimic of my own, her fingers twirling her wedding ring.

"Dinner is ready, do you want me to bring it up here or are you going to come down stairs?"

Her voice is so soft I can barely hear her. I want to respond, but no muscle is moving. All I wanted to say was "here", but nothing was coming out. I just sit here, staring at my aching mother who hasn't heard a word from me in three days. Her hair is a tangled mess. Dark bags hang low under her eyes. She is wearing sweats from days ago; and I know I look worse.

The air in my room is stale and seemed toxic. My room is empty due to the size and the lack of activity from me and my parents. Wood creeks as my mother walks over to my window. She looks at me for permission and then opens to allow fresh air to flow inside. When the crisp warm air hit my face I hide under my blankets, hoping my mom would close the window.

"What's this?"

My mother pulls a string that was taped to the bottom of my window. At the end of the string was an envelope. My body sits up involuntarily to examine what my mother was holding. There was black symbols drawn on the front and the back; like some witchcraft. My mom slowly opens the envelope, trying not to tear the signs. The look on her face was a mix of confusion and terror. She brings her puzzled eyes to meet mine and slowly starts to walk towards me.

"Honey, do you have any idea what this is?" She eyes me cautiously as if she was terrified of my answer. I shake my head vigorously in denial; I am just as confused as she is. My mother opens her mouth to start another sentence when a familiar body walks through my doorway. His eyes are still so sad. Lazarus' eyes lock onto the object in my mother's hands and then shift between me and my mom. 

"Whats that?" His index finger points to the envelope with the black markings. Our silence answers his question because he nods in understanding. Lazarus inches towards my bed, cautious because of our last time together. My mom takes her leave and I know she'll be back after he leaves so we can continue our conversation. I examine him as he walks near me. His eyes look bloodshot like he's been crying. Lazarus stops a foot away from my bed.

"Sorry about last time, I didn't mean to scare you so much. If you want me to leave you can tell me to."

With my eyes staring a hole into my comforter I say my first words in a long time. "Stay". It comes out raspy and soft, I was worried he didn't hear me and was going to leave. I feel my bed dip and I look up to see Lazarus sitting next to me crossed legged.

"What happened? why did you freak out when I came, if you don't want to answer you don't have to."

"I don't know, it just happened. I'm sorry." I wrap my arms around Lazarus' neck and hug him tightly. My nightmares are slowly starting to creep back and I try my hardest to push them back. When I let go I can feel my hands trembling and all I can do is stare at my hands. The shaking travels to my arms and is trying to take over my entire body.

I feel warmth around my shaking hands and my eyes move from my arms to see a Lazarus' hands holding mine. His hands move up to my wrists then back to my hands, again and again, an attempt to calm me down. This action seems to do the trick because I can feel my own heart rate slow down at a steady pace.

"I'm so sorry they're doing this to you. I told them not to, but they don't even care what I think, they just-"

"Wait, what? You know who's doing this to me? Who is it?" My voice came out much louder than it did before, still raspy, and it catches both of us off guard. I pull my hands away from his and stare at him accusingly. 

"Who is doing this Lazarus?" I repeat myself. His eyes fall down to my bed and his posture falls. He starts to fiddle his fingers.

"I can't tell you, I want to, I just can't."

"Yes you can, you're just choosing not to. Why can't I know who is doing this to me, Lazarus?"

"They'll hurt me. Who knows they even might kill me. I'll probably get hurt just by telling you you're not crazy. This is not my choice, I don't ever recall a time where I wanted to hurt you physically or mentally. It's not my choice!" Lazarus' face is drenched with tears. This is way more than I thought it was.

"I'm so sorry, Alex"

"Whats that envelope?"

"It's close to a hex bag. All I know is with those markings, it's not going to be a fun time for you."