concept; DEATILS OR IT NEVER HAPPENED
In which Dan and Phil are not gay and they don't fuck in Dan's room one day and they don't watch each other masturbate sometimes
jock!dan and punk!phil
[2.6k words]
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Phil Lester wasn't gay.
Nosirie, nuh uh.
It's not like he got off on the lonely weekends thinking of boys, or like he went to all the sports games just to watch the sweaty boys, or that he totally had a thing for watching his hot next door MALE neighbor get out of the shower in only a fluffy towel around his teasing waist. Nope, it's not like those things happened ever.
And honestly, he knew those things were certainly gay I mean, he was a boy that could only get off sexually to other boys but it's not like he got that much gay action or anything. He knew he was...not straight his whole life. At one point when he seven years old he asked a boy he fancied if he would like to have to have sex.
OF COURSE, he had no idea what that meant, he just thought that's what you did when you liked someone. The boy had gasped and said, "Phil, that's what adults do with private parts!" And proposed that he'd give him a kiss instead, because it was close to the real thing. (Well, they believed so). That kiss is the gayest thing Phil Lester has ever done, hands down.
It wasn't gay when he made out with his best friend at that one party back when he started high school, and it wasn't gay that one time his buddy Marcus gave him a handjob, and noooooooo of course it wasn't gay that he was literally staring at Dan Howell (that hottest boy in his grade and aka his male next door neighbor) right now with every intention of getting into his pants. Nope, he's straighter than a fucking wooden board.
Ha, jk. Bet I had you fooled, huh?
Phil Lester was gay.
Yep. Simple as that.
And as for his love interests, they just so happened to be boys. Like him. And what's really surprising, to top it all off, every boy he's ever been with was gay too.
I know it's fucking crazy!
Dan had his chin rested on his hand, drumming his fingers mindlessly through the boring history class. His red letterman jacket hugged his frame, and he looked just like any other jock, just way cuter. He was that slim type of muscular, fast and lean. All the other jocks were huge or super into working out but Dan just liked the sport, and he liked the popularity.
Phil just liked how Dan looked in that damn letterman jacket. Mhmm, baby bring your fine ass back over here.
He smiled when Dan noticed his eyes on him and glanced back at him with a raised eyebrow. Phil winked and Dan flushed, turning his brown eyes back to the front of the class. Phil stifled a laugh at his reaction, sitting back in his chair and pushing his fringe out of his eyes. What a catch.
You see, Phil had been crushing on Dan since, like, forever. He's lived next to him almost his whole life and they both watched each other grow up, Phil watching when he wasn't supposed to, but not being able to help it. If you're super attractive neighbor leaves his blinds open and then starts wanking in private, what are you gonna do? Miss the show?
Of course not! That's insane. The correct answer to this situation is to make some popcorn, find his best angle, and wank with him. Phil honestly hated that he'd done that multiple times.
Now, Phil had common sense, despite also not giving a fuck about anyone or anything. He knew, that not every cute boy he came across was gay. And, he had no proof backing up that Dan Howell was gay at all. Dan had never once been in a relationship with a boy, he'd never talked about boys, he never got drunk and made out with a boy; he always did heterosexual things.
