Too Skinny

My Thigh Gap Has Ruined My Life

I spent about an hour at the police station. I guess that they thought that I was disturbing the peace between the shoppers. Like I was some kind of criminal or something. I spent all of my time there trying to explain to them that I was just a normal shopper and I was buying clothes for myself. They didn't believe me until I showed them my receipt. They let me go,and I slowly and tiredly walked to my car. I put the car in drive and drove to my building. When I got in, the lady at the front desk smiled her really big smile,and handed me my phone. I didn't want to hear how or where she found it, all I wanted to do was go to bed. I was in shock for about the whole rest of the night. I couldn't even read any of my book, and that's saying something because I always read my book for about an hour before I went to bed and settled down to sleep. All I did tonight was change in to my pajamas and get under the covers. I shut off the light and looked at the ceiling for the rest of the night. I was too worked up to actually go to sleep.

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I didn't go to school the next day. I called my professor and told her that I was feeling under the weather and that I wasn't going to be able to make it in today. I didn't get out of bed all day. I stayed there and just stared at the ceiling again. Around noon, I got up and went to fix myself some lunch. I got out some milk. I poured a whole glass of chocolate milk and gulped it down in tiny sips. When I was done with lunch, I walked over to my bookcase and picked out Divergent. I started to read it and finished it around 3. .I put down the book and picked up my phone. I logged in to Tumblr and looked through my home page. I saw that the kids that I went to high school with were having parties and sleeping in messed up apartments with the coaches all messed up and the carpets died red because of the party the night before. I sighed and looked around my apartment. It was fairly clean and the coach and carpet were in great condition. Nothing was spilled in my apartment because I never had any parties.....or any friends. I took a picture of my legs outstretched and you could clearly see that my legs were made up of nothing but skin and bone. I made the caption: My thigh gap has ruined my life. I uploaded the picture and set my phone down. Within minutes my phone was buzzing non stop. I looked at it and saw that people were making comments like: You have a way with words and Yes thigh gap, yes problem. We're here for you. ILY. I didn't know what ILY meant so I just shrugged and turned my phone on silent. I picked up my book and then suddenly and out of no where, slammed it down. I raced to the bathroom and looked at myself. I had deep purple circles under my eyes and if someone rubbed their hand on my cheek bone, they might cut their hand. I was nothing but skin and bones. I had no meat on my bones. All I was was a depressed and hungry skeleton.

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The next day I had to drag myself out of bed to get dressed. I didn't want to go to school because I was still really shaken up, but I thought that maybe going to school and having teachers bore the brains out of my ears, it might get my mind off of things. I went to my dresser and pulled out a shirt that said Twerk It. I slipped it over my head and pulled on some of my galaxy leggings. Then I slipped on my purple Keds. I grabbed my phone and my hobo bag and left the room. When I reached my building, I hopped out of my car and walked up the steps to the main hall. I took my seat and started to concentrate on the board ahead of me.

"I'm trying to eat less so I can get a thigh gap." I girl sitting right next to me is abusing my personal space and talking really loudly. "I'll probably drink some milk for breakfast, skip lunch and have a fruit for dinner." she finishes with a grin on her face. She looks proud to be planning her slow and painful death. I turn around slowly and tap her on the shoulder. She slowly turned around and looked at me menacingly.

"What?" she asked in a rather rude way.

"Um....I heard that you were talking about not eating and.....well and........I was just thinking that I should tell you that........that you should eat...or......or you'll look like me." I said, using my hands to demonstrate my bony legs, my too thin wrists,and skeleton like face. She grimaced and smiled an actual smile.

"Thanks." she said,and for the rest of the day in school, I didn't hear another mention of refraining eating from her again.

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I walked to my car and hopped in, turning the ignition and heading towards my building. I put the room key in to the lock and turned it. I walked over to my bed and threw myself on top of it. I was super tired because of the day and the anxiety that I had over the 5 upcoming tests that I had to take tomorrow. I needed a realize so I went over to my laptop and watched some TV. At about midnight, I reluctantly shut it off and picked up my book to study from. I was feeling a little light headed around 2:30, so I dimmed my lights and took out my contacts, shoving my glasses on my face to replace the lenses. I stumbled to my desk and missed the chair by a mile. I hit the floor hard and I heard a loud crack and then........the world got kind of fuzzy. I tried to stand up, but I couldn't feel my feet, so when I stood up, I fell again, but this time, on my bed. My hand shakily reached for my phone and I managed to dial 911. When the person picked up, all I could mutter out was:

"Help." I whimpered and dropped the phone from my hands, my body going limp and my head jerking up and down.