Too Skinny

Saving Myself

I couldn't keep up at all the next day. I was sleep deprived so much that every time I tried looking at the board, I fell asleep. I couldn't look up becasue that made me even more tired. When school was finally over, I sleepily left the building and dragged myself to my car. I hopped in my car and sat there for a minute, eyes closed and my head laid back on the head rest. I was close to sleep when my phone buzzed. It was a text from Melanie.

Hey girl. Whats up?

I grab my phone and open it up.

Nothing. Trying to sleep in my car. I reply and no more than 10 seconds later, my phone buzzes again.

LOL. So you wanna come over to my frat house tonight at like 8? There's gonna be a wicked party and I'd love it if you would come over.

I don't know. I've never really been to a party before, and i don't know if I really wanna.

*drops down on hands and knees and begs Flower.*

fine.

YAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAY!!!!! SEE YOU THEN BESTIE!

I sigh and toss my phone on the passanger seat car. I didn't want to go to the party, but I think it would be good for me to meet some new people and finally get out of my shell. I grunt and put my car in to gear.

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When I get to my room, I plop my stuff down and flop on my bed. I close my eyes and sleep. My phone starts top ring and I angrily pick it up.

"What?" I yell in to the phone irratated.

"Is this Flower?" my mom asks.

"Yeah it is. Hi mom. Sorry I snapped at you, it's just that I didn't really get a good nights sleep." I say as I plop on my bed again, but this ,time with the phone pressed to my ear.

"That's more than okay sweetie. " she says. " I just wanted to make sure that you're taking your medicine." I tell her that I am and she hangs up. I rub my forehead and relax myself. I let out a huge sigh and curl myself up in a ball. I really wanted to fall asleep, but I couldn't because I had a party to make. I grudgingly sat up and hopped in the shower. I squirted shampoo in to my hand and scrubbed it in to my hair. When I was done washing my hair, I took my shaving cream and my razor and started to shave my legs. When I was done, I shut off the water and wrapped a towel around my body so that I wouldn't show. I walked to my closet to look for some fancy clothes that I could possibly wear. The only thing I saw was my old high school graduation dress and my moms big, saggy, black jacket. I closed my eyes so I could think clearer, and the an idea suddenly popped in my head. I grabbed the dress and the jacket and ran to my sewing kit. I ripped the sleeves off of the jacket and started to cut off some of the bottom off of my dress so it would be thigh length. I took the sleeves and cut thumb holes in to them. I put on the white (now thigh length) dress and walked over to sock drawer. I picked out my knee length black socks and slipped them on. Then I walked over to my closet again and took out my black and white All-Stars. I went to the bathroom and looked at my self in the mirror. I took the scissors and cut off my hair so now it was neck length. I parted my hair to the side and took the razor and razed the one side of my hair. I had to say, I looked good. I put on a chunky silver necklace and put on a cats eye. I liked the made up look that I made. It was like a casual formal wear. I loved it with a capital L.

......................................................................

I sat on my bed and clutched my phone. It was 7:45 and I was a out to leave, but I kind of didn't want to. I didn't want people to stare at me and say that I looked beautiful or whatever. I didn't want to meet new people and I didn't want to go by a lot of drunk people. I knew that they would be offering me drinks, but I didn't want to drink, but I also didn't want to be rude and deny the alcohol. 4:50. I really didn't want to, but what if Melanie thought that I didn't come because of her because I didn't. I didn't come because I didn't want to be......social. I released a sigh and got up and walked out of the door, but then I rushed back inside and grabbed my book. I smiled a weak smile to myself and set out the door.

..............................................................................

I reached the party at exactly 8:00. I got out of my car and walked up to the front doors. I held out my hand to knock, and then I stopped in mid knock. Did I really want to go? Did I really want to (possibly) get drunk for the first time? I pushed those thought away and brought my knuckles to the wooden door. I knocked three times and glanced at my knuckles. They were blood red and there were tiny cuts on them. I was obviously still really sensitive. It took about three seconds for someone to open it. Once they did, I put on a smile and waved.

"Hey girl!" Melanie said, opening her arms for a bug. I accepted and after the hug, Melanie checked me out. I could see her look questioningly at my hair, but she obviously thought better of it and she shook her head.

"Not everybody can pull off that haircut, and girlfriend....YOU DO!" she ushered me inside and I walked in. They were playing their music really loud. I couldn't eve. hear myself think. I sat down on one of the couches and Melanie sat next me and stared to talk. Well, not talk..more like yelling because of how loudly the music was.

"That's Kale. He's in to sports, but he's also really smart so he's defiantly a keeper. The really great thing about him though, is that his father knows a guy that know a guy that knows a guy that knows Channing Tatum. Isn't that awesome?" she asked me, and lightly punched my arm. I nodded. The girl next to Melanie all of a sudden passed her a plate of brownies. Maine shook her head an passed the plate to me. I was pretty hungry do I took the smallest one there was. I put it in my mouth and noticed that Melanie was looking at me. I looked at her and nodded my hello because I couldn't wave due to the brownie in my hands. A couple minutes after I finished my brownie, I started to feel like this was all a dream. Then things started to get really slow. I stead of people too g normal speed, everyone was in slow motion. I didn't feel freaked out anymore either. I felt super relaxed, like a knife could go through my leg and I would still feel relaxed. I looked at Melanie and she started to talk to me, but she didn't sound like herself. She sounded like someone had taken a video of her and our her in super slow mode. I giggled. And then I giggled some more. I don't know why I thought it was so funny, but it seemed harder to not laugh. She turned her head so she was facing her friend and she said something. Even though she was talking in super slow motion, I could still make out what she said.

"Why did you give her those brownies Margaret? Now she's baked."