Shit, I'm Falling For A Weasley || George Weasley

Chapter 46 - In which I get a cheerleader and hypnotised in the process

"George?" 

I'm almost too scared to look up. No correction, I am too scared to look up. What if he passed out? What if he ran away and I'm just talking to thin air? What if he's freaking out? Whatever it is, I wouldn't know, I'm fixated on controlling the flame playing on my palms, channelling all my hatred into this moment. Which is ironic because I'd want it to be filled with anything but hatred. 

"George can you please say something so I know you're okay?" I say a little louder and I hear him shuffle. I don't take my eyes off my hand, but the shuffling reassures me. Unless he's being kidnapped, that would be an indication that the shuffling sound is bad. 

"Yeah I... I'm okay. Are you okay?" George's voice suddenly goes very high and the flame falters as I hold back a laugh. Never did I consider this whole situation would be so amusing. 

Slowly I let the flame die down and my heart rate picks up. I've just let someone into the biggest secret of my life. Not just anyone, a stranger that I once knew and cared for and perhaps the only person I trust at the moment. Have I made the right choice? Did I just ruin everything with George? Maybe I'm destined to constantly sabotage everything I touch.

No. 

Be brave Lily.

Be braver than you have ever had to be. And then be braver than that. Because this moment is not one you are going to regret. 

The flame extinguishes and I try to believe the voice in my head but I still can't bring myself to look up. I don't even know what emotions I'm going through right now. I feel anxious. I feel scared. I feel excited. I feel relief. All these emotions at the same time and I can't help but wonder if I'm about to explode. 

He hasn't said anything. I don't know what to make of that. Does that mean he doesn't want to know me? Does he see me as a monster? Have I just miscalculated this move? I mean if I didn't have the guts to do this as Argent then perhaps there was a reason. Maybe it was because I knew George wouldn't be able to look at me the same way and it would be more than I could handle. Maybe because I knew I'd rather have George blissfully unaware and annoyed at me for keeping secrets than never speak to me again. No, I would prefer that over whatever this is. I'd rather have George decide never to speak to me again than have him not react at all. Or is this his reaction and I'm just overthinking everything? 

A hand shoots up to my cheek and wipes away a tear. My own hand instinctively goes to his and I'm surprised that he doesn't flinch or move away. Slowly, as if I have to fight every fibre of my being, my eyes go to meet his. The second they meet, his other arm reaches out and pulls me towards him into a warm embrace. One of those hugs where it's like you're on the brink of collapsing and suddenly someone pulls you from the edge. 

His eyes were filled with so much emotion. I could see all the questions that were bursting to come out, the curiosity, but most of all I could see the sadness. Sadness beyond anything I could imagine. 

I breathe softly into his chest as his arms hold me tight. I don't know how long I stay there, frozen in time, just wondering what could possibly come next. After all this hiding and suppressing, I'm finally embracing who I am, and it's scary. But it's also exciting. My future doesn't seem as fixed and morbid at this one moment. In this one moment, I have this other person I can share my burden with. I have this other person that can make me believe again. In this one moment, anything is possible. 

"Lily?" 

His voice is calm- soft. 

"George?" My own voice is low, controlled. 

"I'm sorry," he says after a pause and my eyes widen as I take a step back to regard him. His eyes are haunt and the sadness is even more prominent. After telling him my biggest secret, his only response is that he's sorry?