Memories(Nalu)

7- Pain

I should have stayed away. I'm so stupid! Now he knows I've been following him. He's seen my face...

He's seen my face, and he doesn't even know me at all.

It hurts.

The pain... it's overwhelming.

I put my hand on the nearest wall for support, the other going to my eyes to wipe the tears that start to fall.

I slowly slide to the ground, my back against the wall, hands holding my head.

This is why I can't go back.

Now that I've spoken to him, it's truly confirmed that they don't know me.

I didn't want him to see me. I stayed away for a reason. The absolute unknowing of who I am when he saw me. It's something I didn't want to go through.

When I found that spell, I never knew that I would actually need to use it.

I found it in an old book. I only memorized it just in case, and I guess it's a good thing I did learn it.

It's been more than half a year. I just wandered for the most part. But recently I came back, to check on them. And then, I kept following Natsu on missions, afraid he would get hurt.

If talking to Natsu for a minute can hurt this much, I can only imagine what it would be like to walk through those doors.

I can hear all of their voices in my head. Every memory I have there racing past my eyes.

So many memories, that I, alone, have to hold.

I want to see everyone, to talk to them. It's just that, it's going to hurt so much. The way that they'll speak to me, as if I'm a stranger, as if we haven't gone through so much.

As if I'm just a random girl who wants to join Fairy Tail, just like I was years ago.

I don't want to have to start all over.

I don't even know if I can.

I sit there in silence for a while, before rising to my feet and heading nowhere.