RESPONSABILITY RAIN

IV

"Ty, I'm home!"

Her voice echoed in the hallway but no one answered. She shrugged and put her stuff down on the ground. Lucy walked into their rather small living room and sat on the leather couch, in front of the flat-screened TV. She looked around. The apartment covered in cardboard boxes wasn't really that big: next to the living area there was an open kitchen with bar stools and a couple of cupboards, behind the corner there was the bathroom with the toilet at the bedroom's right. The place wasn't brand new and the walls were a little dirty but it was good enough for Tyler and Lucy. It was their little nest, full of love and happiness.

Tyler tiptoed in the room to scare his girlfriend, but it didn't work.

"I heard you." she said, when he was a couple of meters away.

"Shoot."

Tyler jumped on the couch and put his head into Lucy's neck. He kissed her and breathed her sent in.

"You smell nice, is it a new perfume?" he asked, genuinely interested.

She looked at him in a tender way and sighed. The way his eyes would spark every time he glared at her made her blush. She was so happy he cared about her. She began to think about what her life would be without him. She began to think about how she would've reacted to what she did a year ago, if he hadn't been there. He was her rock. She knew it wasn't good to let him be so important to her but she couldn't help it. She didn't know what she'd do if he ever left. She thought of herself as the luckiest person on earth, for having him in her life.

"So?"

"I borrowed it from Noa." she replied after a moment. "You're cute."

"I love you." he said and waited for her response.

"I love you too, Tyler." she said and kissed his cheek. "I really do."

This was surely the cheesiest relationship she ever had, but it was okay. They hugged on the couch and thought about their life together. She was certain that, eight months ago, neither of them thought they would end up here.

***

"We should go out, it's been a long time." Tyler said to Lucy, who was paying the bills on the kitchen table.

"Sure. Go out like what? A date?"

"I was thinking about checking out that new club that opened a few nights ago downtown."

Lucy turned around and looked at him through her glasses.

"You want to go out clubbing?"

He shrugged. "Yeah. I don't know."

She frowned and turned back to the bills.

"How many baths did we take this month? We can't do that anymore, it's becoming way too expensive."

"Okay." said Tyler and paused, hesitating. "So, do we go?"

"Fine. But take me out to dinner first." Lucy mumbled and continued to work.

"You got it, lady." Tyler said and walked to the door. "I have some errands I need to run, I'll be right back."

"Mmh."

The door closed behind him and the slamming sound echoed in the apartment. The place felt unexpectedly silent and cold. Lucy felt shivers down her spine. She looked up, but there was nothing. Only a couple of dirty dishes waiting to be washed in the kitchen sink. The TV wasn't on, the radio wasn't either, but Lucy felt like there was a presence with her.

She frowned and the feeling of guilt she had succeeded to diminish a little grew in the pit of her stomach.

"I did it. It's all my fault. I'm a horrible person and I'll never get better. Tyler can't save me, what did I think? That it would all go away once we moved into this lousy apartment? I'm incredibly silly." she thought, and the voice in her head laughed at her, called her a dummy. She agreed.

The walls were getting closer. She felt herself sweating and started to hyperventilate. Her vision was a little blurry. She fell from the chair to the ground. The presence in the room looked at her from above. It was like every bit of humanity's hatred was focused on her. It didn't feel great. She started crying, panicked and everything turned pitch black.

***

"I'm home, babe!" Tyler shouted and walked into the living room. Lucy was lying on the ground, eyes closed, her breathing calm and steady. He looked at her and sighed. Tyler got closer to try and lift her to the couch but when he touched her, she woke up in panic.

"Tyler!" she said and jumped to hug him. She laid her head on his chest. He smelled like berries and cigarettes. She felt safe again.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to wake you, you looked so calm and peaceful-"

"I wasn't. I had a horrible nightmare." she interrupted him.

"Okay. Wanna sit down? Why were you on the ground, anyway?"

He helped her lie down on the sofa and sat next to her.

"I don't really know how I got there. I think I... fainted."

Tyler looked at her in surprise.

"Woah, what? Wait, are you okay? Do you need anything? Should we call an ambulance? I think we shou-"

Lucy chuckled. "I am fine."

Tyler sighed in relief.

"The nightmare was about something that I di- I don't actually remember any details." replied Lucy. Her heart was beating fast. She had almost confessed her crime to him. He didn't seem to have understood. He looked at her, waiting for her to continue.

"There was this boy, blonde and tall and he seemed afraid of me. He was crying and saying that it wasn't his fault, that I shouldn't have done that." she said, and she wasn't lying.

"What did you do?" Tyler asked softly.

"I... don't know." bluffed Lucy. "He was very angry but also so sad. He was really scary but seemed so vulnerable at the same time. It was like he understood me and didn't blame me but he still wanted to change my actions."

"You're not making much sense. I think we should postpone our night out. It's better to be safe than sorry. What if you faint again? Or don't feel well?"

"No!" Lucy replied, almost too quickly. "I mean...No. I don't want to stay in. I don't want to be here much longer. Not tonight. Could we just grab something at McDonald's and go to the night club right after?"

"Sounds like a plan...But the second you tell me something's off, we head home directly!"

Lucy looked at Tyler with a gentle smile. He kissed her forehead and got up.

"I'll make you some soup. You must be hungry and tired. Get some rest before tonight, will you?"

His girlfriend nodded. He walked to the kitchen.

"And don't worry about the bills, I'll finish."

That was the last thing she heard before falling back to sleep.