This Royal Life

Unsettling Feelings

(DAYU)

"The thing is, you don't worry about all of this the first years of your marriage to Qing," Lao said while sitting across from me on the visitor's seats of my office.

I sighed, "That's true..."

I stared at the Royal Manager and Qing's right hand man, the King's Chief Aide. Lao is our most trusted friend and advisor. He has been by Qing's side since the beginning. Like literal beginning. Qing and Lao go back as far as diaper age.

Lao was there to witness the beginning of my life with Qing when they found me again to present an unusual proposal. It was a long story, one I will tell Yong and XianQiao after a lot of editing.

Lao, handsome and calm, smiled kindly at me. "To be honest, you never even worry about this until Qing ascended on the throne. Now you are obsessing over the fact that they still won't give the title to your son almost everyday. Why is that Dayu?"

"Because he is my son," I replied. "And because these last few weeks I feel unsettled like something will happen that will further endanger my son's rights..."

Lao frowned, "What kind of feeling?"

I shook my head, "I don't know," How can I explain it to my friend when I don't even understand it myself?

This feeling, I felt it before. Like that moment when I knew I am falling for Qing and he is changing my life forever.

But this feeling is different. This feels scary and wrong, not exciting and overwhelming. This feeling is making me lose some sleep. I sometimes lie awake at night thinking of why I feel unsettled everytime I am thinking of Yong and the Crown Prince position.

"You think you are just feeling paranoid?" Lao said in a questioning but also suggesting tone.

"I wish I was just being paranoid. But no, this feeling. I hate it,"

"Dayu..."

"Those members of the council. I know they are blocking the appointment of my son. Like they are waiting for something to happen..." I said.

"Waiting for what? For you to start bending and bowing to them?" Lao laughed. "They will die and it will not happen. That's why they dislike you Dayu, not because you are a man married to the King. They hate your unwillingness to meet them bend some for their will,"

My eyes grew round, "Why would I bend for them? I am the King's Consort. I can bend but only for my King. And stop thinking sexually, you are disgusting me," I saw the amused light on my friend's eyes and I cannot help feeling annoyed and embarrassed at the same time.

Lao flushed a little. I think he is embarrassed as well, "I am sorry. If you can remember I once walked in to the two of you naked and..." he sighed. "Let's drop that," he wisely decided.

"Whatever," I sneered. "I know they hate me but to withhold that position when that is Yong's birthright. That is just not right,"

"Maybe if you will compromise," Lao stopped when I glare coldly at him.

"What kind of compromise?" I asked in a clipped tone.

Lao shrug, "You know, let them have some say on how you raise the Prince and the Princess...okay big mistake," he said when he saw how huge my eyes get while hearing what he is suggesting.

"Let them have a say on how I raise my children?!" I laughed humorlessly. "No," I said with a deadpanned expression.

Lao sighed again, "Yeah not really surprised with your answer. You guard your children like you are a pack of lionesses, Dayu. You are raising them by your terms and not giving anyone a chance to say their opinion. Not even the former Queen,"