Seena's rant journal

06.13.17

I hate myself...
Ever since 1st June I haven't touch my watercolor and now my skill is dull. I can't paint properly even though I want to paint so badly. The result is same as the first time I used watercolor. I forgot how to....
It's not only because of exam, not really, tbh, I never give a dem about exam. If I want to do it, just do it. But it's because of external issue that trigger to psychological problem.
I had all day with light-off, I can't do anything in my room, that day supposed to be my drawing day since I'm free from school (assignment and stuff) and I only had that day because  for the next two days I'll be out. Meeting & work.
The next three days I have assignments, share-house water problems, etc. Stress caught me and I can't do anything about it...

Really.... I don't know what should I do? Now, I'm as dull as ever. I hate myself for not capable to paint again. I hate myself for giving up so easily to such things and let stress take over me. I really hate it... and I don't know how to let me love myself again...