Longing for the Sea

when I'm older

 When I'm thirty-five, I want to be happy. I know that's broad, but there are many layers to this.

I want to have a job that I enjoy so much, it doesn't even feel like a job to me. I want my job to be something that gets me out of bed in the morning and not something I dread and feel forced to do just so I can pay the bills. I want to enjoy what I do because life is too short to be miserable the entire time.

I want to travel as much as I can. Traveling is something that contributes to me being happy, and I want to go to as many places as possible. I want to go to the United Kingdom and Australia because I've never left the country before. I want to go to Colorado because my mom has told me four different times that we were going to travel there, and, surprisingly, I've still never been. I want to go back to the Grand Canyon because I last went in third grade, and I don't think I fully appreciated it back then. It's such a beautiful landmark, and I want to take so many photos of it. I want to go to Los Angeles (or anywhere in California) because it's such a gorgeous state, and I've always wanted to go to the beach there. It would be so much fun to take a trip there with my future husband (if anyone actually wants to marry me, that is).

I hope to be married at this point with one kid and a dog/cat. I don't want to have a huge family because I want to focus all of my attention on one child instead of four. I want to spoil my child and give them the best life I possibly can. I grew up as an only child, and I could never see my child growing up in a family with a bunch of siblings. If I were to have multiple kids, I could see myself having favorites, and that wouldn't be fair whatsoever.

I want to have a bunch of books. My goal is to turn one of the rooms into a home library or a library/office, and I want my child to have access to as much knowledge and literature as they want (unless they hate books, which would be very ironic because my life revolves around literature).

Hopefully I'll have an idea for a book at this point, and by the time I'm thirty-five, I want to be a published author and/or in the process of writing my own book. I'm not sure what it would be about, but I've always wanted to have a work of literature that came from my own brain and fingertips. I want to leave a lasting impression on the world when I die, and by writing a book, I feel like that's a great way to do so.

I want to have a nice home. I don't need anything too big or extravagant; I just want a home that is clean, well-decorated, and in a good, safe area. As someone who loves decorating, I know my home will be beautiful with picture frames, flowers, rugs, and so many finishing touches that make it a unique space. I want my child to be happy and proud of their home, and I want it to be a place I'm proud of as well. As someone who grew up in an apartment because my family didn't have a lot of money, we didn't move into a house until I was in third grade. We moved into an apartment a few years later, and we bought another house a few years after that. I don't want my child to grow up in an apartment, as I know how stressful it can be to not feel like you have any space that is your own. Apartments are so tiny, and it feels like everyone is living right on top of each other. It's suffocating, stressful, and not something I want my child to deal with if at all possible.

Most of all, I want my family to be happy. This includes my mother, stepfather, stepbrother, husband, and child. I want everyone to feel happy and proud of their lives, and that itself is the one thing that would make me happiest of all.